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Saturday, March 27, 2010

My boyfriend does nothing to show love or care. Does he love me?

Here is a question from a reader: My boyfriend does nothing to show love or care. Does he love me?

I will start off by defending men: Many boyfriends are lazy and feel comfortable after they have been with you for awhile. Some boyfriends feel that the relationship is enough, and they don't need to do anything special to keep it going. When it comes to planning, many men are perfectly fine with sitting back and letting you plan and do everything! (Especially Mama's boys)

There are those girls who do a lot for their man, and get little in return. Often these girls never ask for more, and they never get it!

On the other hand -- If your man does not give you any form of love, appreciate, affection, then I am concerned for you. What's the point of being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care for you! You are in a relationship to get the closeness, love and comfort you don't receive from colleagues, bosses, and the rest of the world. This person is supposed to give you the most love of anyone you know!

What's important is to sit down with your man and tell him, I need you to give me more X so you can feel fulfilled in the relationship. Be very concrete, to make it easy for him.
For example
- 1 kiss per day/week
- 1 special date/month
- hold my hand in public
You'd be surprised when you ask for something, how people who truly care about you will really try to correct their behavior.

If your man isn't able to or doesn't want to change give you what you need, you have two options:
 1) accept what he is giving you and be satisfied OR
 2) go find someone else who will give it to you.

If you are dissatisfied now, then honey it will probably get worse. Dating and being in relationships are  WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get)- If he isn't loving and caring now, he won't be in 1, 3, 5 or 50 years!

Be sure you have dated around enough, so you know what else is out there. Once you have dated a lot, you will truly know what is important to you. If a guy does nothing to keep showing he cares about you, he is not afraid of losing you.

Best Wishes!

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