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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Does He Love Me? - A guys perspective

Here's a male's perspective on jealousy:
Does He Love Me if he is never jealous?

I would say he can most certainly love you if he is never jealous.  Of course I’m generalizing here, but often times jealousy is something that presents itself when that person has an insecurity within him or herself.  For example, if a guy is jealous when his girlfriend is hit on, may deep down feel inadequate about something and thus, not feel worthy of this girlfriend.  This insecurity manifests as jealousy as he is perhaps worried he’ll lose his girl to a more ‘worthy’ male or someone he perceives doesn’t have the flaws he is insecure about.

So perhaps this person’s boyfriend is very secure with himself, loves his relationship, and loves his girlfriend.  Of course, every situation is on a case by case basis so this could very well not be true.  But it COULD be true, and that is the crux of the question.

My boyfriend doesn't want to do anything together- Does he love me?

My personal feelings are that love and ‘doing something together’ are mutually exclusive for the most part.  He could be lazy, broke, saving for something, too comfortable in the relationship, etc.  There could be a myriad of reasons.  Also, taking the reverse approach, he could easily want to do EVERYTHING with you and not love you.  HOWEVER, if the girl expresses she wants to do something and he still makes ZERO effort, then he probably does not care too much or love her since he is showing that her needs aren’t important to him on any level.

-- from J. in San Diego

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