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Saturday, July 3, 2010
He tells me: He doesn't know if he wants a future with me
Here is a reader question: He doesn't know if he wants a future with me. What should I do?
First, I would find out why. Are you selfish? Do you get angry easily? Are you a drama mama? Are you too flirtatious? Finding out the why he feels this way is critical. Perhaps there is something inside of you -- that desperately needs some fixing. Regardless of which relationship you enter -- this may likely be a problem.
If he is asking you to work on an area or you will break up then ask your friends and family if you think his request is reasonable. Be sure to ask multiple people.
Take some time to think about the why. If you feel that you are prepared to change then concsciously make the effort to work through your own issues, but don't be surprised if this is difficult.
If you determine his request is ridiculous or it goes against your fundamental nature -- for example, he says you are too loud, or you aren't funny enough -- then I would consider leaving altogether.
Ladies, let me ask you something. Would you really want to be with a guy that isn't sure about you? At any moment, he could decide that indeed, his gut was correct and say good-bye. If you did pressure him into marriage, would you want him to one day say to you -- why did I do this? Of course not!
Instead, garner up the courage and say: "I deserve someone who wants to be with me!" Then, tell this man who isn't sure of you -- "Thank you for being honest". Then move onto someone who realizes how amazing you are.