Does He Love Me?

He loves you when he's tender towards you

2012-01-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

A man who really has a heart for you, is a gentleman.

Perhaps he slowly brushes your hair out of your face and looks you directly in the eyes; maybe when you are about to slip, reaches out to pull you up and save you from your fall.

He may even open doors, hold your hand to walk across the street, compliment your look, or give you a tender hug before saying good-bye at the airport.

It could be a very small gesture, but it displays what is going on in his heart!

On the other hand, if he is rough with you, easily angered, frustrated by little things like you being a few minutes late, or not buying the right kind of his favorite drinks - if he can be rough and unforgiving or he makes you carry the groceries and doesn't offer to help these are little signs his love for you isn't so great.

I hope you all find a man who loves you deeply!

Signs you are meant to be together

2011-10-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

5 few signs you were meant to be together.

1. Your sense of humor is similar. You get each other's jokes!

2. Similar Backgrounds (Educational, or Geographic). Although this isn't always the case, having a similar upbringing means you can relate to each other. You grew up in the same area, attended the same university, or you have mutual friends.

3. The relationship developed naturally. When relationships take little effort, they are often meant to be! You shouldn't have to wonder if he's the one, (because that means he isn't). You shouldn't be crying regularly over the relationship. You shouldn't have to force yourself out of guilt to stay with someone.

4. You value the same things. Is education extremely important to you? Or hanging out with friends? What about spending time with your parents? Maybe he likes to buy the finest clothes, and you are a cheap! If you both have similar core desires, this is a very good sign you are meant to be together.

5. Chemistry. You meet someone and it feels likes you've known them forever. You have a lot to talk about, and you find him very interesting. You feel drawn to each other, pulled together by an unexplainable force.

What does Love Look Like? Healthy Couples in Hollywood

2011-10-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

One of the best ways to better understand if your man loves you is to study healthy relationships.

Here are my favorite celebrity couples who display their true love for each other in public.
I've included a few quotes from the couples.

Heidi Klum and Seal
Says Heidi when the two first met: " It was kind of like two magnets" . I have heard this from couples who could feel the chemistry instantly. They just "knew" that there was something there, it was natural and not forced.

She notes they:
- Have fun together
- They respect each other (Heidi sees Seal as a "Man" -- having the whole package)
- They give each other FREEDOM. (They don't try to control each other)
- They put the other person first --
- They are committed to each other

They are probably the happiest couple in Hollywood!

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

I love this couple, because Nick gushes about his wife publicly. This is true love -- when you brag about your partner!

During an interview, he talks about his huge crush on Mariah before the couple had even met. "You saw how good she looks" he says of her.
This couples has been married for a few years, and again when they met there was immediate chemistry.

So, what can we learn from this?
If a man praises you to others , he loves you.
If there is instant chemistry, this can definitely blossom into love
A man that respects you , loves you!

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

2011-02-05T12:14:00.002-08:00

I highly recommend checking out the book "

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

I know some highly intelligent women who have made some seriously dumb decisions when it comes to men.

This left them with lots of heartache, loneliness(since they wouldn't move on), and very sad for a very long time.

Here are some tips

1. Don't choose you man based on how hot he is or how much money he makes. Doing this could mean ending up with a man cheating on you, or a man so busy with his work he never has time for you or your children.

Don't select a guy for the wrong reasons!

Also, most often your true intentions will surface. You can't fake love - and the more time goes on and you hit really touch times, the more it's hard to stay in a relationships sans love.

2. Don't expect your man to be your whole life.

This will mean high expectations for him, and for you in the end unhappiness. This means you should find out who you are, and be solid in yourself before expecting a man to fulfill you.

Become an individual and be proud of who you are!

3.Be CHOOSY!!

Additionally, picking anyone and then wanting marriage quickly is a huge turn off for a guy. They want to know they are special, not just someone you can make babies with.

4.Staying in a bad relationship/situation

This is a huge dumb dumb move.

You see girls think that although right now they are mistreated or he's too busy or he doesn't want to marry or he's an alcoholic, means that "ONE DAY" he won't.

Sorry girl. That's just not the way life works.

This is how you end up still single and lonely, because you didn't move on to a man who doesn't love you.

You have got to mentally realize that if he's doing this now he will likely be doing the same thing to you (99.999999999999999999999999999999999% likelihood, and yes this is very scientific) years from now.

Additionally, the more he mistreats you and the more you put up with it, the more he doesn't respect you and really doesn't fall in love.

Conclusion: KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE

5. Sex DOES NOT EQUAL love (Sex != Love)
This means that just cuz he's loves getting in the sheet with you doesn't mean he want to be your boyfriend, husband, or the father of your kids.

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

2011-02-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend checking out the book "

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

I know some highly intelligent women who have made some seriously dumb decisions when it comes to men.

This left them with lots of heartache, loneliness(since they wouldn't move on), and very single for a very long time.

Here are some tips

Don't select a guy for the wrong reasons!

Also, most often your true intentions will surface. You can't fake love - and the more time goes on and you hit really touch times, the more it's hard to stay in a relationships sans love.

2. Don't expect your man to be your whole life.

This will mean high expectations for him, and for you in the end unhappiness. This means you should find out who you are, and be solid in yourself before expecting a man to fulfill you.

Become an individual and be proud of who you are!

3.Be CHOOSY!!

Additionally, picking anyone and then wanting marriage quickly is a huge turn off for a guy. They want to know they are special, not just someone you can make babies with.

4.Staying in a bad relationship/situation

This is a huge dumb dumb move.

You see girls think that although right now they are mistreated or he's too busy or he doesn't want to marry or he's an alcoholic, means that "ONE DAY" he won't.

Sorry girl. That's just not the way life works.

This is how you end up still single and lonely, because you didn't move on to a man who doesn't love you.

Additionally, the more he mistreats you and the more you put up with it, the more he doesn't respect you and really doesn't fall in love.

Conclusion: KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE

5. Sex DOES NOT EQUAL love (Sex != Love)
This means that just cuz he's loves getting in the sheet with you doesn't mean he want to be your boyfriend, husband, or the father of your kids.

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

2011-02-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend checking out the book "

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

I know some highly intelligent women who have made some seriously dumb decisions when it comes to men.

This left them with lots of heartache, loneliness(since they wouldn't move on), and very single for a very long time.

Here are some tips

Don't select a guy for the wrong reasons!

Also, most often your true intentions will surface. You can't fake love - and the more time goes on and you hit really touch times, the more it's hard to stay in a relationships sans love.

2. Don't expect your man to be your whole life.

This will mean high expectations for him, and for you in the end unhappiness. This means you should find out who you are, and be solid in yourself before expecting a man to fulfill you.

Become an individual and be proud of who you are!

3.Be CHOOSY!!

Additionally, picking anyone and then wanting marriage quickly is a huge turn off for a guy. They want to know they are special, not just someone you can make babies with.

4.Staying in a bad relationship/situation

This is a huge dumb dumb move.

You see girls think that although right now they are mistreated or he's too busy or he doesn't want to marry or he's an alcoholic, means that "ONE DAY" he won't.

Sorry girl.

This is how you end up still single and lonely, because you didn't move on to a man who doesn't love you.

Additionally, the more he mistreats you and the more you put up with it, the more he doesn't respect you and really doesn't fall in love.

A woman who is gentle, but stands her ground and respects herself makes a huge difference.

Is it love? How he makes you feel about yourself...

2011-01-04T19:15:00.000-08:00

Does your man bundle you up with his arms, or sing your praises in front of his parents, or brag about you in front of his friends?

Does he tell you how beautiful, fun, and precious you are to him? Sometimes are you surprised by how much affection he gives to you? Since you have known him -- has the way you look at yourself, calmed you and made you feel more appreciative and accepting of who you are?

If you can answer yes to the above questions, your man knows how to love you well.

On the other hand, after being in a relationship, do you feel less confident, less beautiful , more insecure, hollow , and still wondering if he is right for you? This is likely a sign of an unhealthy relationship and that he doesn't really love you or perhaps the two of you are not compatible.

Do you find yourself crying regularly after seeing him, because his words hurt you like a knife?

Does he tell you that you need to change the way you act, or talk or the way you dress because it isn't acceptable -- and he isn't sweet about his comments? Does he tell you that you aren't very smart, or you are fat, or you are boring? This is a YUCKY man - you should flee!!!

Also, are your friends, parents, co-workers telling you that he doesn't appreciate you, or doesn't deserve you (given you trust their opinion and know they love you dearly?)

If you feel more negative since you've been together, well honey you might want to reconsider a future with this man!

Hugs to the world!

He's Too Busy??!!

2011-01-02T21:08:00.000-08:00

If your guys is *always* too busy for you, he doesn't plan special dates, plan get aways, plan for your birthday, plan to make time to meet you family or friends, it's a sign he doesn't really love you.

When you don't get time with your man, you are not a priority. A man who loves you WANTS to be by your side! He Fights to be near you and will do everything in his power to squeeze you into his schedule because he doesn't want you to disappear!

Keep in mind TIMING is huge. If he is starting school, a new job, and he's very busy -- your relationship may be placed in the back burner, even so he should make time for you.

Be up front with your man and see what happens!
If you find your man too busy, be honest with him and see what happens. See if he will adjust his behavior and make improvements.

He loves you when he's on the path to improvement

2011-01-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

When you begin to fall in love, you overlook his nasty habits. Smoking, heavy drinking, or the fact that he's a workaholic. At first, these habits may not be obvious and they are tolerable, he may even hide them for you. However, as you progress in the relationship, you will begin to see his weaknesses (and he will see yours) .

There may come a point where you realize that these bad habits are destructive and you cannot put up with it anymore. You give him an ultimatum. Either stop this behavior or else.

Well, of course he can't just wake up one day, snap his finger and drop his routine! But what I will say is that a man says to you that he is willing to examine himself , trust what you are saying and seek out help or adjust his behavior, this is a sign of his love for you.

A guy that is willing to make behavioral changes for you, cares about you deeply.

5 signs you were meant to be together

2010-12-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

1. You laugh a lot together
When you are with him, you have a great time, constantly joking around or acting silly. You could laugh for hours with him, and he always keeps you smiling.

You "get" each other - your sense of humor is similar.

2. You feel comfortable in his arms
When he holds you close, it feels right. You feel relaxed, calm, and at peace. It feels right.

3. He looks you in the eyes
When he talks to you - he looks at you in the eyes. He eyes are truthful and fair - they echo the love in his heart.

4. You want to please him
When it makes you happy to sacrifice for him, when you get joy out of surprising him. When you put own needs aside for him.

5. He wants to please you
Your favorites appear - he knows what you love, and tries to give you those things.

Crazy Women that Can't Get Their Relationships To Work

2010-12-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

Crazy Women

Crazy Women are high maintenance, demanding women who freak out when they feel they aren't getting what they deserve. They require a lot of attention, love and assurance.

They are often very insecure that the man will leave them or they might feel their man isn't good enough, and they consider leaving him for someone bettr. They are used to getting what they want and they were likely were spoiled as children.

When they don't get what they expect, they lash out with fits of verbal abuse. They may scream at the top of their lungs, cry, and say some of the cruelest words to their man.

In turn, the man of course lashes out as well, feels unloved and hurt, and he may in fact lose some love for that women each time she has an "episode".

How to not be a "crazy women" -- don't be a drama queen! Being a drama queen is a sign of immaturity, little or no self control and selfishness. Crazy women are a waste of energy. They haven't figured out that life wasn't just meant for their own happiness, but instead life is about the love you give to others.

If you feel "crazy woman" coming on, take a few minutes to relax (or hours). Then, calmly write down why you have been hurt or upset. Then ask your man if you could discuss a matter when you have digested your pain and calmed down.

Then say "Honey, I really wish next time ..."

Eventually men get sick of drama queens and dump them, preferring stability and calmness over the crazy roller coaster relationship.

What's Your Problem? Examine Your own Issues.

2010-12-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

Have you ever stopped and wondered why none of your relationships have worked out?

Do you always blame the guy?
He was always busy.
He was too boring.
He was selfish.
He was cheap.
He wasn't committing.

Did you ever consider the problems you had -- you might have contributed to or caused?

Here are a few examples

He's cheap. He didn't take me out enough -- Well, were you cheap? Were you generous with him? Or did you always expect him to pay for everything? It's not just about you! If you want an equal partnership, taking him out and surprising him with gifts is a way to have a fantastic relationship. When you are generous with him, he will want to be generous too.

He was always busy -- were YOU not busy enough? Did you just come home and watch TV and wait for him to call? Wake Up, girl! Live your life! Life is a lot more fun when you plan activities with and without a man. Have a girls night out, volunteer, take a spanish class. Get off your buns and have a life besides him. If all you did outside of work was spend time with your man, your relationship would become stale. You need more than just work and a man~

He was too boring! Well, how exciting are you? Did you ever crack a joke, or plan a fabulous date? Did you ever suggest something spontaneous?

He wasn't loving. Well, how loving were you? Did you initiate being loving and thoughtful, or did you hold back , thinking that he would prove to let you down. So , you held up your guard and waited for him to screw up?

The conclusion:
BE the best in the relationship first, before looking around for the "perfect" man.

Much love to the ladies of the world

Major doubts before walking down the aisle?

2010-11-26T19:30:00.000-08:00

I once met a man who had just proposed to girlfriend after dating a few years. I asked him if he was excited to be married, and he replied , "She will make a good first wife". Not surprisingly, two years later, they had a bitter divorce. He was left emotionally scarred and financially devastated.

Before marrying her, he admitted to having doubts about their relationship. They tended to fight a lot and their compatibility was questionable, but because they had already been dating for a few years - he thought the next sensible step was marriage.

He had doubts before the marriage, but completely ignored the little voice.

Another great example of this is Jenny Sanford and her cheating husband Mark Sanford.
He didn't want to promise faithfulness before marrying her:
"Mark told me that he didn’t want to use a wedding vow that included the promise to be faithful. He was worried in some odd nagging way, he said, that he might not be able to remain true to that vow. "

Do NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS
Do NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS
Do NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS
Do NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS

I'll be frank with you: if you chose to ignore your doubts and move forward with marriage, you are very likely to end up in hell. Now, would you rather be married in hell, or single and still have freedom to find a wonderful man?

Your complaints crumble the relationship (nagging destroys)

2010-10-30T10:54:00.001-07:00

Nagging doesn't get you more love. Complaining that he doesn't spend enough time with you, that he is not affectionate, or you want to know if you will have a future together -- doesn't get you where you want to be.

Instead:
1. Show him love and affection when you need something.
2. Ask him in a loving manner for your requests. For example "Honey, Do you think you could" "Baby, can you help me with"
3. Remember that if you must be forceful in a relationship, it probably isn't meant to be. If you struggle a lot and feel that it causes you suffering, you should free yourself of it. This doesn't mean a relationship doesn't take work and sacrifice. It most definitely does! However, if you are constantly need to ask for love, and he doesn't give this freely, then you may be hoping to have it forever.

This last point is important. Too many women put up and try so hard, and complain when they aren't getting what they want, in hopes he would change over the years. Sorry sweetheart, but it rarely does. Instead , try to find a relationship that is natural and where you don't need to force a man to love you by begging.

Your complaints crumble the relationship (nagging destroys)

2010-10-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Nagging doesn't get you more love. Complaining that he doesn't spend enough time with you, that he is not affectionate, or you want to know if you will have a future together -- doesn't get you where you want to be.

Instead:
1. Show he love and affection for no reason.
2. Ask him in a loving manner for your requests. For example "Honey, Do you think you could" "Baby, can you help me with"
3. Remember that if you must be forceful in a relationship, it probably isn't meant to be. If you struggle a lot and feel that it causes you suffering, you should free yourself of it. This doesn't mean a relationship doesn't take work and sacrifice. It most definitely does! However, if you are constantly need to ask for love, and he doesn't give this freely, then you may be hoping to have it forever.

This last point is important. Too many women put up and try so hard, and complain when they aren't getting what they want, in hopes he would change over the years. Sorry sweetheart, but it rarely does. Instead , try to find a relationship that is natural and where you don't need to force a man to love you by begging.

You are only his "Lady Friend"

2010-10-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

Ok - Big wake up call. If a guy isn't calling you his girlfriend, but his 'lady friend', this is a sign he doesn't want to really be with you, and doesn't love you. You are like a used beat up car -- convenient for the time being and fulfills his basic needs -- until he finds the more classy, expensive upgrade automobile of his dreams, then he won't need to drive you around anymore.

Do not wait around for a guy like this! The fact that you stick around and put up with this status, is enough for a guy to not respect you. He's likely flirting with other women on the side -- at work, or at bars, and doesn't want to feel bad/guilty about it, so that's why he doesn't officially make you his girlfriend.

Get a clue. If he isn't locking you down then stop wasting your time.

Why doesn't he want you?
You may not be the one for him. His timing may be off, or he's just too damn immature to realize how awesome you are. Whatever the case, don't feel bad! Tell him you are looking for a man that wants to be dedicated to you and stop calling him! Get some self esteem, woman!

Best of luck to the women of the world!!!!

Relationships Are Like Jobs ( Sometimes)

2010-10-12T19:50:00.000-07:00

A relationship can be compared to a job/career and here's why:

1. When you are interviewing for a job --it is thrilling and exciting. During the interview process you wonder, will they like you? Will they call you back? You may meet several people and hiring managers that decide whether you are good enough, smart enough, or worthy of their company. You worry over whether you will land the offer and be hired.

Likewise, with a guy during your dating period, you wonder if he will continue seeing you and eventually, ask you to be his woommman!!!

2. When you apply for a job you may be "overqualified" for, you are applying for a guy that maybe you are out of his league??? But if you love the job and what you will be doing -- then that's your decision and you are the one that will live with it. (Not the people who judge you)

OR you apply for a job that you are NOT qualified for (date a man that is out of your league) and perhaps it works out beautifully.

3. After 6 months to 1 year on the job -- you "get to know it more" . Parts of it are predictable and mundane. Sometimes new situations come up, but for the most part you realize there are challenges you face.

4. After a year, you may want to continue with the company (your boyfriend) or start looking elsewhere -- you are young, so not quite ready to commit. Or, you are older, and know that this is stable and reliable, so you don't want to take your chances and jump ship with a good situation.

5. Or: perhaps you found the perfect job (perfect boyfriend) over time it gets better and better and you improve in your skills -- love your boss and co-workers and

Here's the conclusion:
Find a good job/career/man/business that you enjoy. Know that there will be good days/bad days and great moments and stressful moments. But, if you know what you have is wonderful and valuable. Don't give up on it!!! Stick with it and appreciate what you have -- grow (in the company) and in your relationship and have it flourish!

Best of luck

First, Know what Real Love is

2010-10-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

Real Love is:

Kind
Patient
Humble
Thoughtful
Sincere
Generous
Positive and Uplifting
Caring

Does your guy have the above attributes toward you? These are signs that he loves you.

These are NOT signs of love

Rude (Some women just think that's the way he is, and he does it to everyone. YUCK! When you demand respect, guess what - you get it!)
Selfishness (He doesn't offer to help you carry in the groceries, help you to move, or build your IKEA desk)
Guilt (He makes you feel bad about what you are not or what you did not do for him)
Abusive (this should be obvious. But just to be sure everyone understand if a guy is putting you down, he doesn't love you -- whether this is physical or mental)

Some final notes:
1. Don't devalue yourself. The more you think less of yourself , the more a man will.
2. Build yourself up. Have a life. Have other activities. He doesn't need to be the *only* thing in your life. That's just BORING and leads to low self esteem and unhealthy relationships
3. Be able to walk away. If you are not being loved, you should tell him what you need. If he doesn't try to meet your (reasonable ) requests. Don't live miserably -- keep on trucking for a new man!

Hugs to the ladies of the worrrld!

Not so bad traits - Tis better to have a solid, reputable man

2010-09-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

1. Predictable. He calls when he says he will.
Shows he is thoughtful of you, and you can trust him.

2. Frugal
This is a sign of maturity. Someone who can save for the future, and doesn't blow all his money on things.

3. Not the life of the party
It's ok that he isn't the funniest, most exciting man in the world.

4. Quiet or shy
Generally speaking quiet men can be sweet and wonderful.

5. Nerdy
Nerdy can be solid and loyal!

Remember, look for character!!!

Engagement Ultimatums

2010-09-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

Is an engagement ultimatum appropriate?

Is it appropriate to say to your man:
"..if you don't want to get engaged after 2 years of dating, then I will move on."

I think the answer (within reason) is an unequivocal YES. I know many stories of women who waited around 5, 7, 10 years for their man to propose, and guess what, he kept saying he would, and he didn't!!!

Eventually the girl left, broken hearted with many wasted years. She had to start ALL over again after investing so much time and was that awful.

Don't let a man waste your time, silly girl!

If you are ready to marry, (and feel you know each other well and have dated extensively), if a guy wants to be with you, he doesn't need to throw the 1000 excuses book at you. What is also not very smart for women is to force/pressure/claw/whine their way into a proposal. This is also very silly. He may regret it later, and then you won't get the love you deserve, because it was under obligation.

Instead, if the relationship isn't going anywhere clearly - you aren't spending more time together, he isn't sure still if you are "the one" - then politely tell him that he can keep trying to figure it out, while you go on and find someone who is sure.

Most men would say ultimatums are a no-no. Men do not want pressure, they will recoil like a snail into their shell - the shell of non commitment. Instead, you should communicate to him openly how you feel about the situation in a non threatening, non bitchy, and mature manner. He will respect you for this approach.

If you check the relationship meter - as in, when you ask him if he wants to commit, if he isn't sure girl, don't stick around for too long.

Sure, there may be some people who are fine with never marrying, but if you are not that person, then make sure you don't stay with a man who feels this way.

My heart goes out to you lovely ladies.

The Not so Incredibly Changing Man

2010-09-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Ladies,

Listen up. This is important.

Let's say you've been dating a man for awhile, and over time you notice he isn't the same man you used to know. His sweet, gentle and kind ways have become more critical, more unloving and more harsh. He used to be excited about you, and now, he's thoughtless. Additionally, he wants you to change as well.

Although change is inevitable, if he is changing for the worst, he may not have the maturity yet to be ready for a long term commitment or perhaps he doesn't love you after all - you are not the person he once that you to be.

When you are falling in love - things get better over time, not worse. Will you have difficulties? Yes. Will he change? Only naturally. But, if he is not the same man you used to know, and you find yourself gradually growing apart -- Watch Out! He is not yet solid in his person, and he still has some growing (and growing up) to do.

Perhaps taking a little break and letting him figure things out will be good for you and the relationship.

Good luck, ladies.

5 Signs he is not in love (BIG RED FLAGS!!!)

2010-08-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

Here is a reader question: What are some signs he is not love:
Here are 5 BIG signs he is not in love:

1.He's not contacting you.
You do all the calling and planning to get together. If you were to stop calling, emailing, texting, facebooking, you may never hear from him again.

2. He's not excited when he sees you -- (perhaps irritable when he sees you)
When you plan to meet, he doesn't embrace you or kiss you. He doesn't look you in the eyes with love or passion or kindness.

3. He doesn't respect you.
Love and respect go hand in hand. If he is putting you down, making fun of you, or you leave him feeling bad about yourself, then he probably doesn't respect you (and therefore doesn't love you)

4. He's not planning a future with you
This could mean little plans: Like: what are you doing on Friday or Saturday (Here you hardly know each other, so these plans are probably very small.

Medium plans: Should we take a trip or vacation together. Or, will you fly with me to a lovely wedding or to meet my parents? Here you have been dating for a few months

Or bigger plans: Where do you want to live when you marry or How many kids to you want to have.(Here you are dating for more than a year or two)

5. He is self centered
When a guy loves you -- he sacrifices for you. He wants you to be happy. This means he give you the last chicken wing or last slice of cheescake on the plate. This means he helps you fix things in your apartment when you ask him.
Self centered guys are all about THEM they talk about themselves all the time, are not considerate of your time, things, or feelings.
Do NOT date a self centered man! This leads to bad things/relationships!

Good luck beautiful ladies of the world!

Deciphering his Love Language

2010-08-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

If you want his love to blossom, you have to be sure you love him in the right manner.

Some men want to be loved by kisses and affection

Some men want to be loved by praise and words

Some men want to be loved by presents

Some men want to be loved by action

Some men want to be loved just by spending time with you

There is a book called 5 Love Languages that discuss the various ways individual want to be loved.

If you love each other the correct way, your relationship thrives.

If he asks you questions like, "Why don't you ever ...." (kiss me enough, talk to me when we are with friends, compliment me, etc) you are narrowing down his love language. If you want to have a great relationship, take a few notes, and be extra careful to express your love in that particular way.

Affection

Find out exactly what type of affection he prefers. Does he like public displays?(Some men may be irritated by this, while other could thrive. ) Does he want to cuddle or spoon? Does he like his face touched? Try a variety of affections, and figure out which want makes him say "ahhhhh" and there you go!

Praises

Some men want to be told how wonderful they are, or how smart they are, or how handsome they are, how strong they are, slim they are, fashionable, etc. Whereas some men hate to be praised! They think words are empty and meaningless. Listen to his reaction when you praise him: does he seem to laugh it off, or smile ever so greatly! This is how you determine his love language.

Presents

Surprise him and pay for dinner and a movie, or buy him a little teddy bear, a new gadget or a car wash.

Action/Service

This type of love is expressed by: cleaning his room, cooking him dinner, taking his dog for a walk, or washing his car by hand. It is your sign that you love him!

Time

This love language could simply be sitting on the couch and chatting, or going for a walk. IT could simply mean accompanying him to the grocery store -- just so you can be near

A good way to check his love language is see how he expresses love to you -- then do the same!

Find out his love language to improve your relationship!

Your flaws

2010-08-01T01:49:00.001-07:00

You know your saggy belly, crooked toes, deformed nose, unpainted fingernails, gap in your teeth, double chin, big buns,crazy hair, or squeaky voice you have -- he doesn't see these as flaws. He accepts you and loves you with all the good and the bad.

When a man loves you, he loves the whole you and though he may see your areas for improvement he can look at your flaw as unique traits that set you apart rather than ugly features.

A man that cares for you doesn't point out your flaws to make you feel bad about yourself. He may joke about them, (if you can laugh about them) but he never loves you less because of them.

Ladies of the world -- find a man who loves you for what goes on inside your head and heart rather than external physical features .

Question Him

2010-07-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

Some believe:
I am going to fall in love and it will be amazing. We will love each other forever and nothing will stand in our way. Our differences will not get in the way and our relationship will always be happy and fulfilling.

I am here to say - your relationship will likely have problems and differences will arise. Each partner's expectations and assumptions may strain the relationship as your varying opinions arise.

I believe that it is critical you talk about Expectations and Assumptions about the relationship and each other.When you relationship starts to get serious, sit down with your man and discuss details of what your life would be like together if you were to marry.

Here are a few questions you should definitely want to discuss:
The five topics that couples fight about are: sex, chores, children, not feeling loved, money and in-laws.
So these are the major question you want to talk about: (I know this topic seems very boring, but it is Oh- So critical)

1. Who is expected to do the chores? Will the woman do everything? Cook, clean, work, grocery shop, etc. Are you ok with a guy who wants you to do all the chores?

Cleanliness. How clean is he? Does he expect the house to be always organized, the refridgerator full and dinner on the table? What if you work late nights and then have to come home clean up, do the laundry and dishes? How will these tasks be divided?

2. Money
Who will pay for what? Will everything be divided evenly even if you (or he) makes more money?
Will you have a joint or separate accounts. Who will pay the bills and balance the checkbook? Do you need approval before buying items?

3. Kids
What religion will you raise your kids? What will you want to teach them? What do you think is most important when raising children? Should you be strict, or relaxed? Will they go to private school or public school? This topic could cause major problems as both of you will want to love your children and raise them the way you think is idea.

How many kids will you want to have? Will you spoil them?

4. Religion
Will you want to attend service on the weekend? Will you want him to come? Even if you are the same religion, each person has a different view on what it means to be religious.

5. Sex (some may find this topic touchy or too liberal of a conversation, but this could drive couples apart - as one partner feels unsatisfied)
How often and who will initiate? How high of a sex drive do you have vs. him?

6. In -Laws: this often causes problems because you each are committed to your parents
Where will you spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, and vacations. How often will you visit your parents? What if your parents are outspoken, insult your husband? How will you deal with pushy in-laws?

When you marry him -- you marry his family!

7. What does showing love mean to him
How does he show his love? Kissing, dates? sex? You baking for him?
How do you experience/receive love from him?

8. Discuss your parent's marriage? How did they fight (you are likely to learn from this method and do the same).

Resources:
http://www.akana.net/Counseling.pdf

Conclusion:
It is so very very very critical to understand each other's assumptions and expectations of your future marriage walking down the aisle.

When life falls apart

2010-07-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

When a man loves you, he sticks around through the highs and the lows of life. When you are at your lowest point in life if he's still holding your hand and caring for you - you know he loves you deeply.

If you were to lose a job, crash his car, become very ill, be embroiled in a lawsuit, short sale, foreclosure or a death in your family - look to see if he's still there comforting you and lifting you up.

A man who is there lending an ear is a sign of a solid man who loves you and will continue to love you throughout your lifetime.

When you enter a dark period of your life - this results in loss of confidence. Suddenly, you may not be the same woman he once knew, instead and he will see a different side to you that may cause him to flee. You may cry every night, become needy and sensitive. Perhaps you become more moody, easily frustrated and temperamental. But a man who sees you through these tough times - one with amazing character - will brighten your day and let you know it will be okay!

On the other hand, a man who is ready to go once the tough times hit - show him the door! Don't beg him to stay. This kind of man doesn't want to hear about your problems, or he insults you for your situation or breaks up with you because you don't "have it together" - let this little flimsy man flee. Wait for a strong man of character that understands the cycle of life is both good and bad. That life is like a string of events - some positive and some negative and your job is to hold on and learn your lesson until you make it through.

And when finally the clouds break, and the sun comes out, you will love him more deeply for being your rock during these stormy times.

Ladies of the world - I hope you find a wonderful, beautiful man who stays beside you during your darkest period - Don't give up until you find him!

You made him cry

2010-07-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a heated debate/argument or suggested you break it off-- and he started to cry?
A guy that gets emotional over you shows he has very deep rooted feelings for you. If your words have brought him to an emotional state (especially if he never cries) -- this is an indication that he holds you and your opinion in high regard.

A guy that expresses his emotions in front of you trusts you and a guy who is serious about you sticks around during these emotional/painful/difficult times.

Don't harm him with your tongue
When you hurt your man you are hurting your relationship! Be careful with the words you choose -- do not be carelessly putting him down or threatening to leave. Although you can say you are sorry, it still leaves a dent and mistrust in the relationship.

Bad boys don't cry
If you are dating a man who has been through a lot of relationships and been through plenty of breakups -- if you are "just another girl" to him , you won't find him crying over you. Any disagreements will have him making his plans for the next woman.

Use hard times to grow closer together
What's interesting is that when your relationship hits a snag, you can actually use this tough time to talk about how you care about him and express that indeed you will make it through these tough times.

He loves you when he plans trips with you

2010-07-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

One sign a guy wants to be with you is he wants to get away with you. It could be camping at Yosemite, heading off to Santa Cruz, or planning a trip to watch fireworks for the Fourth of July!

If a guy loves spending time with you, he cares for you and wants to be near you! He enjoys your company and seeks out special time together.

Travel spices up your relationship!

Travel is such a wonderful way to get to know each other and spice up your relationship. You can learn the history and culture of a new location together, stand in front of nature together and bond in a new way by getting out of the monotony of every day life.

You see each other from a new perspective

He may want to travel with you so you can spend time focused on each other full time. When you travel you are around each other all day and night -- so all your little habits will emerge. Travel is an excellent way for your man to see another side of you.

He tells me: He doesn't know if he wants a future with me

2010-07-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

Here is a reader question: He doesn't know if he wants a future with me. What should I do?

First, I would find out why. Are you selfish? Do you get angry easily? Are you a drama mama? Are you too flirtatious? Finding out the why he feels this way is critical. Perhaps there is something inside of you -- that desperately needs some fixing. Regardless of which relationship you enter -- this may likely be a problem.

If he is asking you to work on an area or you will break up then ask your friends and family if you think his request is reasonable. Be sure to ask multiple people.

Take some time to think about the why. If you feel that you are prepared to change then concsciously make the effort to work through your own issues, but don't be surprised if this is difficult.

If you determine his request is ridiculous or it goes against your fundamental nature -- for example, he says you are too loud, or you aren't funny enough -- then I would consider leaving altogether.

Ladies, let me ask you something. Would you really want to be with a guy that isn't sure about you? At any moment, he could decide that indeed, his gut was correct and say good-bye. If you did pressure him into marriage, would you want him to one day say to you -- why did I do this? Of course not!

Instead, garner up the courage and say: "I deserve someone who wants to be with me!" Then, tell this man who isn't sure of you -- "Thank you for being honest". Then move onto someone who realizes how amazing you are.

Good luck, Ladies!

Your Birthday

2010-07-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

It's your birthday, and if he loves you, he should definitely do something special. This special plan or gift does not need to be expensive, but instead it should be something that makes you feel loved and cherished.

When a man loves you, he may surprise you with a romantic or favorite restaurant, a sweet gift, or surprise you with a drive to a special location. He might make it special by taking you to a baseball game or throw you a surprise party. Perhaps he will turn your car into a party house filled with balloons, or he might simply get your car cleaned. What's critical here is that there are many ways that he can make it special and if you see he has put effort in, you know he loves you!

He does things he doesn't like to do
He especially loves you when he plans something he could pass on.
When a guy cares for you he may do something he typically won't. Let's say he NEVER cooks, but he decides to get in the kitchen and make you a delicious Birthday dinner! Now that's love!
Or, perhaps he hates roller coaster rides, but he knows how much you love them, so he drives you to the nearest amusement park!
When a guy does what YOU love (even though he may hate it) , he is thinking about your feelings and this ladies is the kind of man you want!

Expectations
Many girls expect that if a guy loves them, they should receive expensive jewelry or take you on an exotic trip. If you are looking for true love --drop your expectations of what you think he should give you and let him show you in his own way how he loves you!

Remember to be appreciative and grateful for what he does give you!

Good luck to the ladies of the world!

Why he would fall for you...

2010-07-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

What makes a guy fall in love:

1. You are interesting.
You tell funny, scary or outrageous stories. You have an imagination that runs wild. Perhaps he finds it fascinating that you have traveled through Europe, or you're an immigrant that came form humble beginnings. A guy can fall in love with a special girl with very cool experiences that make you well rounded.

Perhaps you have a quick wit, or can tell jokes better than Chris Rock.

2. You are knowledgeable/intelligent
You love learning and read regularly about news.

3. You are cute
You have a beautiful smile, smell, and softness to your face. You are a feminie angel.

4. You are sweet
You love cuddling and caring for him. You rub moisturizer on his dry hands, and make him pancakes on Saturdays. You are emotional -- you miss him when he is gone and always wish him a fantastic day.

5. You remind him of his mom
Whether it is your gestures, your attitude, the way you look or talk, a guy who loves his mom wants to find a girl that is similar.

6. You are passionate
You've studied classical music since you were 5, or started painting in high school and love pursing this on the side when you have free time.

7. You are a ton of fun
Some guys have boring and stressful lives. They need a woman that takes them away from their world and splashes color over their walls. These women are entertaining and stimulating.

Does He Love Me if he is very critical?

2010-06-28T21:15:00.001-07:00

Overtime whoever you choose to love and spend your time with eventually, you will discover his faults over time these fault may really start to drive you nutty, even if you care for him deeply. Likewise, he will see those areas of your life that you really need help and are lacking.

Here are a few examples:

Now, let's say you are a laid back( he may call it lazy), and he is a highly motivated overachiever. Guess who's going to get a lecture on being lazy and not working hard enough. You do!

Perhaps you are a little bit messy, or careless and tend to stain your clothes a lot or leave wet towels on the floor of your bedroom. Well, your neat boyfriend may become very disappointed in you every time he sees your clothing hanging on a chair, your drawer hanging out of the dresser, or your trash filling over calling to be emptied.

Let's say you are very shy and he is incredibly outgoing -- guess who may get a lecture on being extroverted (despite the fact that you hate small talk). You will!

And let's say since you've been dating you have gained a few pounds, who's smacking your hand telling you to stop going for that second piece of cake and your brother's wedding! He will!

Ok, so the question I pose here is -- if he is critical, then does this mean he doesn't love you?.

The answer: Watch how he says it

I believe you should watch his tone. If he cares about you (and you care about you) you should be the best woman you can! If he is nudging you to be healthier, lovelier, more sweet, or more passionate, this can't be bad! If he does it out of love -- then call it constructive criticism and listen to what the man is saying!

However, if he is rude, if he makes you feel incredibly down about yourself, if he treats you like a child and yells at you, then honey , watch out!. This isn't love, that is control! You don't want a man to mold you into the person he wants you to be . You should have the space to be who you are and be accepted without having to change for him.

Just Because He Does This, Does Not Mean He Loves You

2010-06-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

Just because he...

1. takes you to fancy restaurants

2. tells you he thinks your great
3. makes love to you
4. calls you back when you call him
5. occasionally "hangs out" with you
6. occasionally calls you
7. invites you to hang out with his friends
8. thinks you have a good time together
9. has similar interests as you
10. buys you flowers or gifts
11. Tells you that you are beautiful

Does Not Mean He Is In Love With You

On the other hand, if
1. He is loyal to you
2. He is considerate of your feelings
3. He apologizes when he has hurt you
4. He works though difficulties rather than wanting it his way
5. He is unselfish
6. He is honest with you
7. He listens to your needs
then these are good indications of love. And this is what you should look for in a man

He Loves You when he references your future children

2010-06-27T12:36:00.001-07:00

When a man wants to be with you and marry you, he will make comments about your future children.

Here are some examples of this:

"One day, we will tell our children about this date! They will love this story of our car breaking down and we laughed until help came!"

"When we have children, we will teach them the Tango, Latin, and how to draw at an early age!"

"Our children will NEVER act like that!"

When a man is talking about your future and what he wants his/your life to look like, take note! A man that is dropping hints about your future life and children together is very serious about committing to you.

On the other hand, if a guys is saying, he doesn't know if he'll ever want to get married, want to commit fully to you or have children -- Listen to what he is saying! He means it! Don't wait around hoping a guy will change his mind about you or whether he wants to marry you! If he is clearly telling you he is not interested in a future he is telling you he doesn't want to be with you.

This could be due to timing, you aren't the right woman for him, or he needs some growing up to do. Don't feel bad, it just means you need to move on and find someone who appreciates how awesome you are!

Many women make the mistake to think a guy will come around and change their mind-- I'm saying NO he won't and you are wasting your time.If he does change his mind, it may be due to your pressure than his love for you. Don't marry this way! It's better to have a man that wants to commit to you then dragging his feet into a relationship.

Good luck, Beautiful Ladies of the World!

Does He Love You? Looking good for him until you are 100.

2010-06-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

After being in a relationship after several month, you may start to come off of your "honeymoon" of getting to know each other and begin to feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. You begin to understand each other's quirks, and pains.

At this point --you see his faults and he sees yours. You may have had a few fights, and maybe even have been close to calling off the relationship when it hit a snag.. One important aspect of a relationship as dating starts to fade, and you get into the groove of your relationship -- is the perception that you can stop trying to be what you were when you started the dating dance: the sexiest, most loving, sweet, and irresistible girl you were when he first laid eyes on you.

Look Good for Him Until you are 100
I am here to say --don't let that happen! Do not get lazy with your relationship, because this is what causes love to fade. Instead, agree to look good for him forever -- until you are 100. Make a pact to be the best you can be from the moment you started dating until the day you are laid into the ground, and you will find his love grow for you!

So -- put on that sexy lipstick, find a delicious perfume that is irresistible, then wear a beautiful dress that highlights your figure, or a soft sweater that he doesn't want to stop touching!

Never Stop Having Special Dates
At least once a month , have a date night (or day) where you find a local band, a quaint restaurant, or a secluded lake that you can be alone and enjoy a new atmosphere. Spend time reconnecting and focusing solely on each other.

Habits kill your relationship!

To Find Love You Need Humility

2010-06-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

There are many women out there who can't find their man, not from lack of men that surround them or potential dates, but because no man can live up to these women's ridiculous standards. These women perceive each man as not good looking enough, not having the right job, not having enough education or not being capable of charming their socks off to be the one. These women know exactly what they "want", and they waste many years looking for this man to fit their demanding list.

And so, these women go on with their lives, dating men, barely giving them any opportunity, and then moving onto the next man in hopes that he will fulfill the long list of traits she has created.

Perhaps they are looking for "the one"-- their soul-mate, in which they find an incredibly amount of chemistry and passion that they are driven wild with desire. Some women will not want a guy who is "too nice" because they will walk all over them. They want a strong man!

Many women think that every man they encounter are not good enough for them for a variety of reasons. And by the time you reach your 30s, and you still haven't found love, they finally may wonder: Perhaps the problem does not reside in the men I am dating, but in my attitude and expectations of picking a partner.

And so, I say to these ladies, you can'f find a man to meet all of their expectations: Approach Love with Humility
Stop judging a guy on 1 date! So what if the you are the same height or if he is growing a small bald spot. So what if he didn't go to the best university in the country, or his job is boring. So what if you squeeze his arms and you see they are not as strong as Mr. T! If this man will be loyal, love you, and treat you well and hopefully he will make you laugh, then give him a chance. If you approach dating WITHOUT a long list of must have's -- this is when you find love!

Be humble when you date, judging his every move and phrase to determine his level of intelligence and wealth is a terrible way to find true love.

Wishing you the happiest love lives!!!!

Does He Love you? Is he that kind of man ....

2010-06-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you something important -- some men may not be build for the committed, loving, devoted relationship.

When looking for a man, make sure to look for his ability to not just love you, but love those around him. His kindness to strangers, homeless, the taxi cab driver will reflect what is truly happening inside.

It is important to not just look for someone who is crazy about you , but also knows how to treat his sister, mother, colleagues, and neighbors in a caring manner.

Although some women find it entertaining and challenging to date a "strong" man who takes control who commands the room, and demands respect -- overtime his strength if he doesn't have a soft interior can lead to a painful and difficult future together.

His actions today predict his future actions.

Does He Love You? He surprises You with things you love

2010-06-13T08:28:00.001-07:00

Men that loves you will surprise you!

1.Surprise: A beautiful view
You have plans to spend time together and you jump in his car for an ordinary day. On the way, he gives you the impression that perhaps he needs to run errands , or go back to his office to pick something up. You think little of it, but are a little confused why his errands seem to be 30 minutes away from his house. Suddenly, you are in a new city! He pulls up alongside a beautiful beach with a view of the city. You walk along the beach holding hands , and he tells you he loves you.

2. Birthday Surprise
A guy that loves you wants to get you excited! He may make you think that your birthday will be a calm and quite one, and then secretly plan a huge party behind your back. Without you even knowing, he has emailed all your friends and family, picked out a cake, and organized a whole day around you! Why? Because he wants to make you happy! A guy that goes out of his way to surprise you for a special day, really loves you!

Does He Love You? He surprises You with things you love

2010-06-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Men that loves you will surprise you!

1.Surprise: A beautiful view
You have plans to spend time together and you jump in his car for an ordinary day. On the way, he gives you the impression that perhaps he needs to run errands , or go back to his office to pick something up. You think little of it, but are a little confused why his errands seem to be 30 minutes away from his house. Suddenly, you are in a new city! He pulls up alongside a beautiful beach with a view of the city. You walk along the beach holding hands , and he tells you he loves you.

2. Birthday Surprise
A guy that loves you wants to get you excited! He may make you think that One way he can do this is to secretly plan a party behind your back. Without even realizing, he has emailed all your friends and family, picked out a cake, and organized a whole day around you! A guy that goes out of his way to surprise you for a special day, really loves you!

3.

Molding Your Man

2010-06-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

Some people mistakenly think that they will take the man they have and all his imperfections and "Mold Him" into the person they want him to be.

This could be in the form of: Improving the way he dresses, talks, what he likes to do, who he hangs out with, what he does for a living or what kind of car he drives.

Don't do this!

Do not expect that your man is your blank canvas to create a masterpiece. Instead, understand that if he stays exactly the way he is and he is this person in 20 years you will love him. This is true love.

Why should you not try to change someone?
1. It may work for a little while, but they will probably resort back to the person they are at the core.
2. It makes him feel that he has to be something else for you to love him
3. You may become very disappointed when it doesn't happen and you have wasted time

Give suggestions, support him to be his best, but do not expect your man to become someone else.

Best luck, Ladies!

On Again Off Again .

2010-06-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

The scenario:
You have a man who you love dearly, and he cares about you (but does not love you). You want to be with him, and he "kind of" wants to be with you, but won't really commit. You are constantly breaking up and getting back together. He will break it off, say he needs space, and then he will proceed to squirm his way back into your life. He tells you how much he misses you, and how you are the one for him. He showers you with affection, love, gifts, flowers, kisses, and attention.

Of course you fall for it. Because you love him and cherish him, even though he has caused you great pain. And so..
You take him back.

Weeks go by, everything seems fine, maybe even a few months go by. And then: it happens again. He needs space, he isn't sure about the relationship, and he wants out. He leaves you.

And then, he wants you back again.
The cycle continues to repeat itself.

This can go on for years, even an entire lifetime.

So listen up closely!

For your own sanity: If a guy breaks up with you , telling you he needs space then wants to get back again. Let him go for good. I highly suggest cutting off the relationship all together. There's a reason why he keeps doing this! He doesn't want to be with you and although he sees your value, inside he is truly questioning if he wants to be with you forever.

Whenever you find yourself in a situaiton like this: Get out! This will lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and pain! A guy that is breaking up and getting back with you -- Does NOT LOVE you!

You have the option of whether you will let someone into your life that treats you poorly.

The Love Test: Results

2010-06-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

Continuing from our last post -- now it is time to examine your results!

After taking a back seat for a few days, what was your result?

1. You noticed he called and asked when he would see you again.
He missed you! He does care about you -- as soon as you took a backseat and were no longer easily available, he realized how much he cares about you. He was more affectionate and loving, and appreciative of your relationship.

Conclusion: when you aggressively always call him, and are always available you might be taken for granted. Be sure you let him do work on his part.

2. He didn't call.
If he barely noticed that he hadn't talked to you in awhile, this is not a good sign. This relationship may be completely one sided. You are easy to be with, and he isn't interested in pursuing you. If you drop all contact on your end and never hear from him again, let him go! Do not be in a relationship that is one sided!

Conclusion: You should consider whether he truly loves you or this relationship is more just out of convenience for him.

Good luck, Ladies!

The Love Test: Take a backseat and see what happens.

2010-06-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a good love test. If you are the person usually calling, emailing, stopping by and asking your man to get together, try this test!

Do not contact him, email him, phone him, or request to see him and see what he does!

A guy that cares for you and misses you will most certainly be begging to know when you are available next and why you are so busy. If you do not hear from him, and he doesn't seem concerned, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

I am not suggesting play games, but instead see what happens when you aren't the first to initiate. Take a "back seat" approach and see if he starts to take the lead and ask to see you.

For some men, not talking for a few days is not an issue, so it may be a day or two (or three) before he realizes. However, this is a good test (especially for aggressive women) to see if he cares for you.

Again, do not play games, but instead allow him to "lead the way" and you will get some good insights.

Good luck lovely ladies!

Always Breaking Up?

2010-05-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

The breakup boyfriend.

If you are constantly breaking up and getting back together with a boyfriend, this is a serious sign of relationship trouble. Consider not talking for awhile and trying to figure out if this relationship is really worth saving.

1. The problem that won't disappear
Most couples fight over the same problems -- money, sex, work, kids, chores.
Whatever you are fighting over now probably will be the same fight you have in a month or year. So you need to find a solution and stick with it. Accept each other for who you are and lower expectations to increase happiness. For example, if he is always late, then understand that this is part of him and don't expect him to be on time.

2. Fighting is ok
Happy couples fight. But, how you fight is what is important. Respect each other, listen to what your partner is saying and try to find a solution that makes you both happy.

3. Can you live with it?
You meet. You date. You fall in love. And then reality hits -- He has little time for you. He's always cheap. You don't find his jokes funny. He's messy. He's not a gentleman. He drinks too much. He's a loner.

Whatever the case, ask yourself -- if he never changes, can you live with this for the *rest* of your life?
If the thought of him being the same man in 20 years, makes you want to pull out your hair, and stick your head in an oven, then you probably should move on.

Expect this person to be the same they are today instead of someone you will mold him into.

Why men fall in love

2010-05-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

1. Common Interests -- You aren't clueless
"I fell in love with a girl when she could tell me what a 6-4-3 DP meant in a baseball box score without having to be told 3,987 times. "
Impress a guy with your knowledge and you could find him falling in love very quickly!

2. You inspire him to bigger things
You encourage him, believe in him and allow him to talk about his success and struggles. A strong woman who stands by her man can truly steal a man's heart! Supportive, positive, and independent women can impact a man's life in great ways and light a fire under him to pursue great dreams.

3. You compliment Him with your personality/background
He's the shy, nerdy guy. You are the outspoken, funny, extrovert.
You are the sensitive, warm, loving and he is strong and powerful.
You are book smart. He is street smart.

4. You stand up for yourself -- and gain his respect
A woman that doesn't let a man walk over her, or stands up for what she believes in gains instant respect and admiration from a man. Respect is critical in love. Never let a man put you down!

When standing up for yourself, say things like:
"Honey, I care about you, but I find it inappropriate..."
"Honey, You are wonderful, but don't ever put me down in front of others.."
"Honey, I am who I am. Do not try to change me "

Of course we all have weaknesses and areas that need improvement. Appreciate his loving criticism, but be smart about when his comments are unnecessary or unloving.

5. You love him deeply and are affectionate
A man who knows that his woman loves -- given it is the right woman, he will love her all the more. If you are wishy washy, or unsure, he may start looking for someone that will be solid and true to him!

Best wishes to all of you marvelous females!

Intense Feelings and Signs of Deep Love

2010-05-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

Here are a few examples of deep intensive and perhaps obsessive love:

1. They are (sexually) possesive
2. They have an intense longing and craving to be with you emotionally, not just physically/sexually
3. Obsession -- they think about you a lot -- day and night
4. They would die for you
5. You are the center of their world
6. They find no (or very little) fault in you
7. They feel a rush from you
8. When they are or feel rejected -- they are deeply sad and experience a great deal of pain
9. They believe you are different from every woman that exists.
10. They become very moody -- when things don't appear to work out with you they have a great sadness, and they are very happy/high when things are going well with you.

from Love Anthropologist Helen Fisher

He said you mean the world to me

2010-05-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

Here's a reader questions: What does it mean when a man says "you mean the world to me"?

A man who tells you he thinks the world of you (and means it) truly cares for you! You are his everything and you deeply mean a lot to him. Consider this one of biggest compliments a man could give you!

A man who loves you deeply says: "You mean the world to me", "I cherish you" and "You are important to me". The thought of losing you would bring great sadness into his life! He admires you, cares for you, respects you and loves you very deeply!

Remember to always be sure to check his actions with his words! Do not let a guy express his "love" only through his words. Always be sure he is treating you respectfully and affectionately.

Good luck to all you ladies of the world!

Does He Love you? He fell in love really fast

2010-05-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Don't be one of those women who are fooled by the fast charmer. The man who has a fantastic smile, a great personality, very good looking -- what could be the perfect man! He may barely know you, but he seems to warm up very quickly.

He compliments you frequently, tries to get physically close very fast. He also may try to get to know you very quickly as well. He could ask you many questions (without talking about himself). He seems highly focused on you and very interested! Can you believe you have found "the one". A man who is totally and completely devoted to you -- only within only a few short days/weeks.

Hold on, Girl and listen up! A guy that falls that fast for you isn't in love, he is in lust/obsession or just got out of another relationship. If you are looking for real love, let it blossom and grow over time.

Love is built on a foundation of friendship and trust. So don't confuse quick obsession with glorious love.

Marriage and Math: Will It Last?

2010-05-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Did you know that scientists have developed a mathematical model with 94% accuracy to determine if a marriage will be successful?

This is how it works:
Scientists measure the interaction between a couple. Couples discuss a variety of topics (including sensitive ones like making love and finances) while being video taped.

After the discussion takes place, scientists examined the video and measure every interaction between the couple. Both positive and negative scoring is associated with loving and affection behavior vs. disrespectful behavior. Scientists classify the interactions including: anger, affection, humor, and respect.

What does this mean for you?
Every comment you make to your man has a huge impact! Be positive, affection and loving. If you find your man is *not* returning the favor, consider this -- would you like to be with this person the rest of your life?

Some indicators of divorce:
-- If you argue with your spouse about finances once a week, your marriage is 30 percent more likely to end in divorce than if you argue with your spouse about finances less frequently.

-- If your parents were divorced, you're at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they weren't. If your parents married others after divorcing, you're 91 percent more likely to get divorced.

-- If only one partner in your marriage is a smoker, you're 75 percent to 91 percent more likely to divorce than smokers who are married to fellow smokers.

-- If you're a woman two or more years older than your husband, your marriage is 53 percent more likely to end in divorce than if he was one year younger to three years older.

-- If you're of "below average" intelligence, you're 50 percent more likely to be divorced than those of "above average" intelligence.

From the Blog:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-05-19/15-ways-to-predict-divorce/2/

Here is the link to the video with the author who discusses the likelihood of divorce based on various factors:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3096434/vp/37277962#37277962

Does He Love Me if he is constantly busy?

2010-05-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

One question from a reader:Does my man love me if he is constantly busy?

First, consider what your man does for a living, or what his circumstances are: if he getting his PhD, is working full time, and going to school full time; or if his job requires him to travel extensively to meet with clients, you may rarely see him. If you are dating a lawyer, entrepreneur, or a doctor, you can expect that his free time is limited.

If your man is very devoted to his work, ask yourself -- does he call me when he has free time to spare -- even if it is just for a few minutes? Does he make plans and let you know when he is again free? If he is squeezing you between his very busy schedule, this is a good sign he cares for you.

If your man isn't busy due to school and work, but with his hobby or friends, you may want to consider the following: Does he make *any* time for you in the future or regularly on the weekend? If he is just keeping you on the back burner until someone better comes along, he may only see you when it is completely convenient for him.

Watch out for this! Do not sit around forever waiting for this man to spend time with you! You could waste a lot of time in the end.

Does He Love You -- Relationship Snags

2010-05-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

What happens when your relationship hits a snag? For example, he's been very busy at work and you haven't seen him in awhile. He (or you ) are constantly late, messy, cheap, tired, sad, and so goes the list.

If a man loves you -- the thought of losing you will definitely cause him to stir into action. He will become very solution oriented, figuring out "a plan" to make sure things will work. Inevitably, if a man feels he cares for you and you are wonderful, he will bend his ways, and be determine to find a "happy medium" or some men may simply cave in altogether.

If you are the problem (you are nagging him, you want him to always pay for things, you have been demanding and driving him nuts) he will try to figure out a compromise -- instead of dropping you like a hot potato.

On the other hand, a man who doesn't truly care for you, will find your relationship disposable. He may threaten you with a breakup, tell you he could easily find another, or tell you he doesn't care if thing work out.

A man that loves you will work through your (and his) issues and compromise.

When a man says he cares for you but is not in love with you.

2010-05-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a reader's question:

If a man says he cares for you, but does not love you --what does that mean and what should you do?

This means: HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!! Do not stick around! You should stop spending time with this person if you are becoming emotionally attached and are hoping he will fall in love with you. This man will still be dating other girls, despite the fact that he is aware of the fact that you love him.If you are waiting around HOPING he will change his mind about you -- DON'T -- he already has!

The majority of men are straightforward communicators. In a case such as this, this man probably sees many wonderful attributes in you. Perhaps you a sweet and generous, and a fun companion, but he clearly doesn't want to be with you, so stop holding on!

Smart daters understand that sometimes no matter how hard you try, how much love you give, or who you try to change to be-- someone won't fall in love with you. It is best to find someone who is ready to care and love for you the way you deserve.

Some women may stick around with this man, even though he said he isn't really interested in marrying her. BAD IDEA~ This is a waste of time and energy (especially if you are ready to find the one and settle down). Furthermore, it can cause a great deal of pain after you have invested emotionally in someone.

Good luck Ladies!!!!!

Does He Love You? What does he do when he's out of town?

2010-05-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

Pay attention to what happens when your guy goes out of town. Perhaps he's going away to visit friends or family, a business trip, or he is taking a "guys weekend". Whatever the reason, ask yourself the below questions, to see if he cares!

If your man is gone for a week, does he miss you?

1. Does he contact you while gone?

Is he calling you regularly to see how you are doing and tell you he misses you? Does he call you, send you emails or try to chat with you?

2. Does he bring you back something?

If he brings you a gift this is an extra bonus!

3. Does he say he wishes you were there?

A guy that cares for you wants you near! He will tell you -- Baby, I wish you were near me to see the beach, forest, or say, honey we should come here together.

4. Does he ask you to go?

A guy that cares for you, will try to see if you can meet up with you over the weekend, or if you can join on the entire trip!

On the other hand if you never hear from him, watch out! He may not care as deeply for you as you would hope.

Best of like to you ladies!

Check Facebook for Signs of His Love

2010-05-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Examine his facebook page for insights on how he feels about you.

1. Does He Post Post Pictures of you alone or together?
Sign he loves you!

2. Does He comment on your Facebook page and (extra bonus) -- he's affectionate publicly towards you?
Sign he loves you!

3. Is he adding a slew of other single girls on his Facebook Pages?
Why is he adding other so many single girls? Not a good sign he loves you.

4. Is he flirting with these other single girls publicly?
Not a sign he loves you -- he should make you feel secure about your relationship and be committed to you!

5. If you ask who these single girls are (perhaps before you started dating). Does he tell you he will take them down so you feel comfortable?
A guy that will go out of his way to make you feel secure in the relationship -- is a keeper! Huge sign he cares for you deeply.

Good luck to you beautiful ladies of the world!

Signs It is Time for a Break Up

2010-05-11T02:31:00.000-07:00

When is it time to part ways?

1. You see your friends or family more than him
That's because he is always too busy for you. You have to beg him for his time and when he does give you his time -- he makes you feel guilty for it. This is not what a relationship should look like. He should be going out of his way to see you -- if he loved you and the timing is right.

2. You give way more than you receive
It seems you are the one working hard in the relationship, cooking his meals, doing his laundry, paying for things, sacrificing and dishing out love. He on the other end is demanding, complaining, telling you to change, and finally making his life way more important and valuable than yours.

3. You argue way too often and for a long time
If you find that you are arguing constantly, this is a sign that things are headed downhill fast.

4. You are consistently sad
Instead of feeling happy to see him, or happy when you are away from him, you find yourself lonely and feeling unfulfilled.

Signs He Cares

2010-05-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Question from a reader: What are some signs he cares?

1. He surprises you
He surprises you with little things. He bought your favorite chocolate at the store; he wrote you a little note to wish you best of luck on your exam; he did your laundry without asking. These little things are signs he is thinking about you throughout the day, while he is on his errands, or when he gets up in the morning.

2. He is worried about your health and safety
Someone who wants to protect you and worries about you is a big sign that he cares for you. If he gets upset when you are sick, or are experiencing re-occurring symptoms, he is concerned for your well being.

He doesn't want you engaging in dangerous activities, because the thought of losing you deeply troubles him. If you were ever in a dangerous situation , he would first think about protecting you over himself.

Are you in Love with a Loser?

2010-05-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today's message is about dating a loser. Some women have such a terrible sense of self worth that they accept losers into their lives, because they feel they can do not better.

It is so critical to value yourself in a relationship, so you know when to stand up for yourself and know when you are being mistreated.
Below are some tips to help you to "see the light".

1. He makes you feel unworthy.

If a man is putting you down, making comments that you are not good enough or smart enough. If he is correcting your speech or publicly embarrassing you, take note sister: you are dating a loser. If you are not good enough for him, then why is he sticking around?
A man should be positive and love you for who you are instead of trying to change you. If he is trying to mold into someone he wants you to be, get ready for a life of unhappiness.

2. You change to make him happy.

Perhaps you used to be joyful and talkative. You used to have a free spirit and were friendly to everyone. Now you are afraid that you might say something inappropriate or wrong, causing him to correct you. When he comes over, you have to be careful to tidy up and make sure you look your best for him.

3. He's Cheap Now. He'll be cheap Later.
A guy who's frugal with you and keeps his money closer to his side than you is a loser. Watch Out! Someone who cannot be generous with you financially is a big sign of a lack of deep love and thoughtfulness.

4. You are kept on the back-burner
Even though you have been dating for awhile, he doesn't really want to fully commit to you, is afraid of marriage and says he's still figuring things out. He keeps you around just in case, but he still wants to keep his options open. Basically, so far you are the best thing he's going to get, but you aren't really "the one". Although he is far from perfect, he wants perfection.

Article on Dating a Loser

Lyrics - When a man loves a woman

2010-05-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

When a Man Loves a Woman

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be

When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got (yeah)
Trying to hold on
To your precious love
Baby please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see

Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby
I am a man
When a man loves a woman

Things you do that cause him NOT to fall in love.

2010-05-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things you can do, to ensure a guy doesn't fall in love with you.

1. Act Selfishly

Awesome men want a lady who is kind, thoughtful and generous. Selfish girls that talk about themselves all the time, demand their way, never want to pay for anything - make a guy fall out of love FAST.

2. Talk about how badly you want to have a wedding/get married/have babies

If you urge a man into marriage and talk incessantly about your dream to walk down the aisle, he may think you could care less who you walk down the aisle with as long as you get there.

A guy wants to feel that he is special to you, and one way to do this is avoid talking about your wedding, before you know or a guy has decided he even wants to marry you!

Of course it is smart to check in and make sure a man is wanting the same long term goal, but you could definitely turn a guy off by abusing this topic of conversation.

3. Not reaching out/ caring for his family and friends

You should definitely make an effort to know his family and friends. This is a sign that you are in it for the long term and care about those that love him.

Judging his friends or family could really hurt him and make him feel he has to choose between you and them. So, be careful what you say about those close to him! Act like his family is yours and his friends are your future buddies.

4. Get physical too soon

A woman who respects herself gains respect from men. Kissing a guy too quickly, "giving him what he wants", or allowing him to touch you too soon can be (and I am not saying this is always the case, but it is likely) a way he will immediately know you are not a long term girlfriend prospect.

Now, if you can hold a conversation and talk passionately about a topic, this is a sure fire way to get him to fall in love for the right reasons!

5. Do everything he demands
Saying "no" once in awhile is surprisingly a good thing. Would you want a "yes" man in your relationship? Or do you want a guy who has an opinion and will put the smack down on you, when you deserve it? The same goes for you-- if you fall for a man, you may have the urge to do back flips for him to such an extent, he loses respect for you.

You should definitely express your love, but do not become his: slave, maid, grocery shopping, laudro-mating, hooker of a woman.

Best of luck to you beautiful ladies of the world!

Does He Love You? Compare your relationship to healthy ones

2010-04-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

One excellent way to determine if you have a solid, loving man in your life is to watch other couples and compare. Examine those couples who are happy in their relationship and see how they treat each other.

Here are a few examples of happy and loving couples:
-- They enjoy being around each other
-- They have other friends and hobbies
-- They support each other
-- They are kind to each other in front of others and alone
-- They surprise each other
-- They want to please the other partner
-- They accept each other's weaknesses (bad habits, messy, unattractive qualities)
-- They are generous and put the other person first
-- Make special dates for each other to enjoy life

Unhealthy couples:
-- Make fun of/put down each other in front of others
-- Are selfish and do not put each other first
-- Try to control the other
-- Are insecure
-- Fight in front of others

Rather obsess over whether he loves you, consider thinking about how you as a couple interact together to maintain a healthy relationship. It is better to be in a loving and healthy relationship, than love someone who does not treat you well and respect you.

Best of luck, Ladies!

Secret Signs He Loves You

2010-04-25T22:06:00.001-07:00

Here's a question from a user: What are some hiddens signs he loves you.

Wondering if your office mate is really into you? Perhaps your fellow classmate has fallen head over heels in love, read on to discover!

1. You catch him staring
If you ever look up at a man and he quickly looks away -- this could be a hidden sign he really cares for you, but does not want you to notice. He may find you incredibly beautiful to stare at, or he maybe mesmerized by your presence.

2. He hangs on your every word
A guy who listens intently to what you say and wants to know more about you and your thoughts --this is a sure sign he admires and even loves you. A man who deeply cares for a woman will be interested in her thoughts a feelings. He will want to know your interests, what makes you tick, and how he can get closer to you. Some men who are incredibly shy may fear approaching you, but still desperately want
to be in your arms!

3. He brings you up in conversation or turns the conversation to you

Let's say you are in a meeting , or standing around a group of friends, he may draw the groups attention to you by asking you what your thoughts are, or what you are doing this weekend. He really wants deeply to connect with you, and is secretly getting to learn more about you, in a quite casual and discreet manner.

4. He takes notices of what other's don't

You changed your hair -- he tells you it is beautiful. He looks around your desk and comments on your photos, organization skills, art, flower arrangement, or writing style. If you find a guy interested in mentioning even minute details about you, he may secretly be hoping to be close.

Does He Love you for the wrong reasons?

2010-04-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

Does He Love You For the wrong Reasons?

Wrong reasons for him to love you and why.

1. He love you immediately because you're hot.
A guy that falls quickly for looks without getting to know you, could likely do the same when the novelty runs out. Usually these guys become bored over time and move along to the next sexy women. If a guy especially is not taking time the time to know you, but always wants to be physical.

2. He loves you because you play hard to get
If you are good at playing the game well, or playing hard to get, well honey once you try to turn your game into a real relationship, the fun may be over for him! So, if you are really looking for a solid relationship, stop playing games! But, don't be so easy that he doesn't think you are a catch!

3. He loves you because you are powerful/have money/are well connected.
A guy that "loves" you because you have a stable job, are well off , or know people - watch out! What happens if suddenly you are out of a job? Will he stick around? What if he starts bugging the people you know -- that would be annoying.

4. He loves you for something you are pretending to be
Don't pretend to be something you are not to get a guy to fall for you. The truth will eventually emerge and you will look like an idiot and he will remember you as a fraud. Be Yourself! Do you know how exhausting it would be to be a fake for the rest of your life! Wonderful men love women who are genuine, good natured, truthful and natural.

Good luck ladies!

Does He Love Me? - A guys perspective

2010-04-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a male's perspective on jealousy:

Does He Love Me if he is never jealous?

I would say he can most certainly love you if he is never jealous. Of course I’m generalizing here, but often times jealousy is something that presents itself when that person has an insecurity within him or herself. For example, if a guy is jealous when his girlfriend is hit on, may deep down feel inadequate about something and thus, not feel worthy of this girlfriend. This insecurity manifests as jealousy as he is perhaps worried he’ll lose his girl to a more ‘worthy’ male or someone he perceives doesn’t have the flaws he is insecure about.

So perhaps this person’s boyfriend is very secure with himself, loves his relationship, and loves his girlfriend. Of course, every situation is on a case by case basis so this could very well not be true. But it COULD be true, and that is the crux of the question.

My boyfriend doesn't want to do anything together- Does he love me?

My personal feelings are that love and ‘doing something together’ are mutually exclusive for the most part. He could be lazy, broke, saving for something, too comfortable in the relationship, etc. There could be a myriad of reasons. Also, taking the reverse approach, he could easily want to do EVERYTHING with you and not love you. HOWEVER, if the girl expresses she wants to do something and he still makes ZERO effort, then he probably does not care too much or love her since he is showing that her needs aren’t important to him on any level.

-- from J. in San Diego

Does He Love Me? 5 Signs he wants to get serious

2010-04-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a reader question: Does he want get serious?
Here are five signs he's getting serious about you.

1. He talks about your future together.
He talks about future events you will attend together (these may be months away). He will send you information on future weddings of his friends, discuss a holiday visit with the family, a lake trip with friends. He may talk about where he wants to live years from now, gauging your reaction or how he pictures a future life(with you).

2. He takes it slow.
A guy that sees you in his future won't try to get in your panties quickly. He is respectful and takes his time. He wants to get to know your character and your personality over the curves of you body. He isn't putting the moves on you, but instead enjoying your company.

3. He opens up.
A guy that will tell you about his frustrations with his life is opening his heart to you. A man this is becoming vulnerable with you, is a sign that he is hoping for your comfort and love. He may tell you about his mother falling sick with cancer, his father's suffering from depression or he may tell about his own struggles or fears in life (he is afraid of the dark or of flying) Although he wants to be tough with you, if a man is comfortable with you, he will reveal secrets and insecurities.

4. He tells you
A guy that can verbally tell you he cares for you and looks you truthfully straight in the eye is really getting serious. A man that tells you things like: "You are important to me", "I have never met a girl like you before", "I care for you", "You mean a lot to me", "I cherish you" -- and of course his actions back up these words, is a sign he has opened his heart and thinks you may be the one!

5. You see your requests/desires come to fruition
This means that lets say Saturday you tell him how much you love the local wine bars. Well, he may secretly make a mental note of this, and one week later, he is driving you to the coolest wine bar in town.
Let's say it is dinner time, and you are walking down the downtown area, you point out a delicious Thai restaurant that you love and the next thing you know is you are sitting in the restaurant.

A guy that cares for you wants to take care of you and wants you to be happy! If you are feeling comfortable and secure in the relationship, this is a very good sign that he is serious. Just remember to take your time and find a man with good character and values!

Good luck to all you ladies!

Does He Love Me: Not now, Maybe Later?

2010-04-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

If doesn't love me now, will he love me later?

One point I would like to make is that some women (and numerous friends of mine) thought if a guy wasn't that into them, they could hold on long enough, and eventually he'll "see the light" and fall in love.

I say: NOT TRUE!

Do not be the girl that holds on so tight, hoping he will eventually fall in love with you if you call him, tell him how much you care for him or always are there for him when he needs you.

Don't chase a man!
When a guy falls for you. You don't have to prove you can do all these great things: cook a mad casserole, dress like Victoria Beckham, recite the encyclopedia, sing like Beyonce. Sometimes, love can't be explained! Why he falls in love with your classmate, or colleague over you - the mystery may never be solved. But one thing is for sure, if he doesn't really care for you now, he likely won't in 2 months, 2 years, or 2 decades.

If he doesn't want you - get over it!
No matter how much you want a guy, if he doesn't really care for you in the same way, I say, LET HIM GO!
Don't hang onto unrequited love, (Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired) because in the end it will result in heartache and a lot of lost time.

Best of luck to all the of you beautiful ladies!

Does He Love Me if he is never jealous?

2010-04-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Here is a reader question: Does He Love Me if he is never jealous?

Here are some thoughts:

1. A highly jealous partner can destroy a relationship

2. People who feel confident and secure in a relationship will trust their partner.

3. At the early stages of a relationship, insecurity and lack of history/knowledge of your partner could lead to jealousy.

4. If someone isn't afraid to lose you/doesn't care much about your relationship, they will likely not experience jealousy.

5. Jealousy is really just a reflection of insecurity/immaturity in the relationship.

6. If you date all sorts of men, you will find: some men are easily jealous while others may never express these emotions.

7. People who are mature and love their partner deeply, want to give security to their partner (and do not want their partner to feel jealous).

8. There are some people who want to draw attention to themselves and make their partner jealous, so they can be sure their partner cares for them

Men are like cakes. There are spice cakes, chocolate cakes, vanilla (plain), cream cheese cakes and so on. Men come in all sorts of shapes in sizes and some may be wildly jealous and feel passionate about fidelity while others may feel confident in your relationship, even if you are talking to a sexy, brilliant, and funny man.

Conclusion: Instead of only looking at 1 indication, jealousy to measure love, I suggest you measure it in more positive ways!

Best of luck to you! Wishing you a happy and fulfilling relationship!

Why do i feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me?

2010-04-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

Here's a question from the reader:
Why do i feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me

Here are two possibilities

Explanation 1. Your gut is saying something: Listen Carefully!
Always always always follow your gut when it comes to men. If you feel a man is not genuine, caring or you are being used, then clearly there is something wrong with the situation. When a man loves you, you should feel peace, comfort and acceptance.

Building Trust at First
Now, if you are at the early stages of your relationship, you may have doubts while you build trust and learn who he really is, but over time his actions should show you that you can trust him and he wants to be with you.

If over time, you do not feel he treats you well, then you should really sit down and speak with him about the matter. Perhaps he doesn't realize that you need extra attention. If a man loves you, he wants to make you feel loved. If he doesn't want to talk about this matter, or does nothing to change, you may really consider if this is the right relationship for you.

Conclusion: Always listen to your gut when it comes to deciding if he loves you!

Explanation 2. He really does love you, but you are insecure and do not know how to be loved

If you are a very insecure girl and do not love yourself, then it will make your relationships with men much harder. You may never really feel loved or wanted. Even if your man showers you with gifts, takes you to dinner, plans hikes and trips, tells you he loves you, kisses you passionately and treats you with the highest regard, you are so destructive towards yourself, that you may always feel unworthy and unwanted.

So, how do you fix this? Here are some ideas:
A) Get a life! Build confidence, get good at something and be proud!
Sign up for classes, read an inspirational book and force yourself to learn about the world. The goal is to stop focusing on yourself and focus on all the wonderful things you can experience in life.

B) Get therapy: Learn the difference between healthy vs. unhealthy relationships

Conclusion: Figure out if the problem is really your low self esteem that makes you feel unloved.

Hugs to all the beautiful women that deserve the greatest love from a man!

Can you pass his tests?

2010-04-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

A guy that is getting to know and care for you may test you to quickly determine who you really are.
If you care about this man, be sure you pass the tests!

1.He'll test to know your limits
Perhaps he may say something offensive to see how you react. He may make a rude comment to see if you agree, or you will stand up and speak your mind. A strong man wants a strong woman who can stand up for herself and her beliefs.

- Do you have confidence in yourself?
- Will you agree with everything he says?

2. He'll test to see your interest in other men
Perhaps he will ask you if you think another man is good looking, or you think another man is funny or interesting. He may be testing to see how you feel about him and see if he is desirable to you. A man who thinks you may be "the one" will want to know you want him and only him. He doesn't want to feel you may have feelings for other men.

- Do you flirt with other men in public?
- Do you need attention from other men to feel wanted?

3. He'll tests to see what's really in your heart
A good man will want to make sure that you are genuine, that you want him for who is he, and not the car he drives, the clothes he wears, or the money in his bank account.Perhaps he will downplay his successes and only share very basic information about himself, until he truly knows you.

- Do you expect him to pay for everything?
- Are you looking for anyone? Or , do you think he's special?

4. Test to see if you will hurt him
He may ask you questions about your previous boyfriends, to determine if you were committed to them. He may try to figure out if you cheated, lost interest, found someone else, etc. Be sure that you understand that he may interpret your past relationship as an indicator of what is to come.

My boyfriend does nothing to show love or care. Does he love me?

2010-03-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Here is a question from a reader: My boyfriend does nothing to show love or care. Does he love me?

I will start off by defending men: Many boyfriends are lazy and feel comfortable after they have been with you for awhile. Some boyfriends feel that the relationship is enough, and they don't need to do anything special to keep it going. When it comes to planning, many men are perfectly fine with sitting back and letting you plan and do everything! (Especially Mama's boys)

There are those girls who do a lot for their man, and get little in return. Often these girls never ask for more, and they never get it!

On the other hand -- If your man does not give you any form of love, appreciate, affection, then I am concerned for you. What's the point of being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care for you! You are in a relationship to get the closeness, love and comfort you don't receive from colleagues, bosses, and the rest of the world. This person is supposed to give you the most love of anyone you know!

What's important is to sit down with your man and tell him, I need you to give me more X so you can feel fulfilled in the relationship. Be very concrete, to make it easy for him.
For example
- 1 kiss per day/week
- 1 special date/month
- hold my hand in public
You'd be surprised when you ask for something, how people who truly care about you will really try to correct their behavior.

If your man isn't able to or doesn't want to change give you what you need, you have two options:
1) accept what he is giving you and be satisfied OR
2) go find someone else who will give it to you.

If you are dissatisfied now, then honey it will probably get worse. Dating and being in relationships are WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get)- If he isn't loving and caring now, he won't be in 1, 3, 5 or 50 years!

Be sure you have dated around enough, so you know what else is out there. Once you have dated a lot, you will truly know what is important to you. If a guy does nothing to keep showing he cares about you, he is not afraid of losing you.

Best Wishes!

Does my boyfriend love me if he's mean to me?

2010-03-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

Another question from a reader: Does my boyfriend love me if he's mean to me?

I am sorry I have to answer this question at all, because it should be obvious to many women. However, for those of you who aren't sure and need someone to point it out.

Does my boyfriend love me if he's mean to me?
The answer is a resounding: No!

Do you want someone to mistreat you for the rest of you life? Do you want someone that puts you down and makes you sad? You are the creator of your life! No one can control the decisions you make. And you are making the choice to stay with this person. If someone is mean to you, you need to have some self respect and say "No Thank You!". You have the option to leave if someone is not caring for you and treating you well.

It is not your responsibility to save this person and try to change them if they treat you poorly. Help them seek help, but do not get romantically involved.

Before finding love, you should work on loving yourself. You should understand the difference between someone who cares for you and someone who does not. You should explore the world, learn , read, join in activities and have fun! Having a man in your life isn't the only wonderful thing in the world.

Does He love his (fill in the blank mom, the kids, the dog, his job) more than me?

2010-03-24T15:10:00.000-07:00

One viewer asked: Does my man love ______ (fill in the blank: kids, dog, him mom, his motor cycle, his car, his job) more than me?

I hate to say it, but be careful not to be that jealous girl! Don't be insecure with your man, instead give him freedom and he will love you more.

1. Do you love anything else besides your man? (the kids, your shoes, your job, your parents).

2. I ask you: does your man show you love? Does he tell you he loves you and spends time with you?

The situation is this: if you ONLY had each other and nothing else in life: Life would get extremely boring. So, let your man spend time with his mom, his dog, his job (naturally) so he can be fulfilled in other ways.

If you always restrict him from doing what he wants, he could grow bitter towards you. If you are always wondering if you come FIRST in the relationship, it shows that you are insecure. If you have a specific concerns, you may want to speak with him directly. For example:
He isn't spending a lot of time with you lately
He is spending a lot of money on his hobby and nothing else
He has canceled on you several times, to do or be with someone else

If he loves you, he will try work with you and make you happy too!

Good luck, girls!

We fight. Does he love me? Fighting and LOVE

2010-03-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

Disagreements will happen. Use it to come closer together.

All couples fight. They may fight over money, or family (where to spend holidays). Couples can fight over who tardiness, picking up the tab, or lack of time together. People fight when they are jealous or insecure.

Fighting can occur when two people were brought up differently, when expectations or needs are not being met, when one partner feels taken advantage of, or when those in the relationship do not want to sacrifice for the other (not a sign of love).

As your relationship progresses and you become more comfortable together, you may not feel like giving up your rights as an individual to fuse together as a couple. If you TRULY love each other, you are going to try to figure out what the problem is, and how you can find a solution.

The best couples are solution-oriented and are fair. Each person sacrifices at times, and is needy at times. Each person accepts the other-- the drawbacks and weaknesses.

Here are some tips on fighting:

1. Fight Fairly.
Don't bring up unrelated topics (like the day he forgot Valentine's Day if it is not your main point). Don't yell and scream and threaten to break up. Be mature. Try to be logical and factual.

2. Compromise and Sacrifice.
This relationship isn't just about you! Nor is it just about him! It is about both of you, so you need to sit down and meet each other half way, so you both give in a little so you feel satisfied.

3. Listen.
Allow one person to talk about their feelings. Listen intently. Summarize what the person is saying, so you are sure you understand.

4. Stand up for yourself in a mature manner and he will respect you
Don't be a doormat/rug. Speak up if you feel that your relationship is not balanced.

5. Suggest a solution
Don't just sit their and nag. Come up with an answer! If you want to be with this guy, use this as an opportunity to show him your love.

What does it mean when he says he cherishes me?

2010-03-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Here is a question from a viewer:
"What does it mean when he says he cherishes me?"

A guy that say he cherishes you, is really into you, and may even love you.
Of course, you want to look at his actions to cross check if what he says is aligned with what how he treats you. Love is action, not just words. (Read other blogs to get more information)

Using the word "cherish" is really a sign that he is tender towards you and adores you. He feels you are special and regards you highly. When you cherish something (a car, a ring, a child), you protect it and with do anything to keep it safe.

Do you love each other? Signs of a healthy relationship

2010-03-21T22:11:00.000-07:00

1. You give each other freedom.
You let each other be who you are naturally. One is not trying to control the other. You don't expect the other person to change over time, but accept them for their faults.

2. You both are striving to be the best for each other.
You understand the limitations to each other and you both strive to be the best for each other, so the relationship can be healthy. You are putting time into the relationship. You communication clearly to understand the other person's needs.

3.You want each other for the right reasons.
You want each other, because you truly care deeply for each other. You wish the best for your partner, and want his/hers success. You aren't in it for money, fame, boredom, or desperation.

4. Each sacrifices and serves at times.
One person is not always getting their way. Both of you must make sacrifices at times.

Does He love You? Since he met you --He's Becoming a Better Man.

2010-03-16T17:20:00.000-07:00

When you first meet a man and he feels strongly towards you, you will start to notice that he wants to change for the better, so you will love him more.

1. He wants to be the best for you.
He says it! When a man cares about you, he wants to be kinder, gentler, and a more fantastic human being. You inspire him to excel.

2. He wants to take care of himself, get in shape and look good.
You will see him exercising more, lifting weights. You may see him dressing nicer for you or fixing his hair, just for you!

3. He is more interested in his career and providing for you, rather than having fun.
A man that has met his woman that he cherishes, will want to get serious, especially if he is interested in starting a family and wants you to be the mother of his children.

4. He is maturing every day.
You see him considering your thoughts more, becoming more self-less and become more attached to you.

He never says he loves me

2010-03-13T16:27:00.000-08:00

Consider a few questions when your man doesn't say: "I Love you"

1. How long have you been dating?

If you have been dating for less than a few months, then you should relax. Love takes time, do not rush it! If it has been several years and he has never said I love you, this could be a red flag. This is when you need to sit down and start really understanding how he feels about you.

There's nothing wrong with waiting to say "I love you" until you really feel it.

He could be taking his time to get to know you, or he could be at a stage of his life where he is not ready for commitment.

2. Does he express his love in other ways?
People have different ways of expressing love. He may express his love through kisses or asking you to spend time with him. Remember that many men are not as verbal as women, so be sure that you recongnize when he expresses love in non verbal ways.

3. How often do you see each other
Building a strong relationship takes time, and even though you may have been dating for a few months, if you only see each other once or twice a week, it could take a very long time to fall in love.

Consider this: some womanizer easily tell dozens of women they love them, without truly caring for them deeply. Remember, those three words could easily be said by someone who does not feel it, so it is better for you to judge a man in other ways.

Some people do not want to express their love until they feel comfortable and ready to give it away. Other men can easily say "I love you" without feeling uncomfortable.

If you are looking for love, don't rely on only one expression from your man !

First Love Yourself before you ask: Does he love me.

2010-03-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Before you start looking for love and wondering if a guy loves you. You better love yourself and love your life. You should be happy alone and not expect someone to bring that happiness.

Enjoy Being Single
You should enjoy being single while you have freedom. Being single allows you to explore the world, educate yourself, experiment with dating all sorts of guys, without feeling you need to please another person or live by their rules. When you are single - it is your life and your rules. You are responsible for your life and how great it turns out to be!

If you pick the first guy that comes along without being sure of who you are or what you know then you may wonder what is out there. Settling down too quickly before you have grown into your full self, can wreak havok on your relationships.

Don't Torture Yourself
If you are single, do not constantly worry over when you will meet "the one". Stop looking and every time you enter an elevator, go grocery shopping, walk in the park and run into a man, you are thinking: "Could he be the one?". This constant agonizing and focusing over find "the one" can lead to a torturous way of living.

Love Yourself First, but how?

Educate Yourself
-- Get certified,
-- Get another (or your first) degree
-- Take a class once a week at your local Jr College.

Be passitionate about something!
Throw yourself into becoming very good at ONE thing. Practice Practice Practice!
Some examples:
-- Become a superb cook. Read through the joy of cooking and try to cook three times a week a new and interesting recipe.

-- Play the guitar - even if you learn to play 1 or 2 songs

-- Find the coolest hiking trails on the weekend and explore!

Does He Love you? 5 signs he is the one

2010-03-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

1. You look into the future and it feels right

2. He is dependable, honest, and loyal

3. You have fun together and work through the hard times

4. You want to put him above yourself

5. The relationship is stable: not an emotional ride

4 Red Flags He does not love you

2010-03-12T07:01:00.000-08:00

1. You are constantly breaking up and getting back together.
Things should run smoothly most of the time. When your relationship runs into trouble, you need to work it out, but someone who loves you does not want to lose you. Instead they will fight to stay with you. Constant fighting is a sign that you have "lost that loving feeling" and you need to re-evaluate if it worthwhile to stay together.

When two people are ready to commit, they focus on each other and getting through hard times.

2. He says he is not sure if you are the one - and doesn't want to commit
This is a good indication that he doesn't love you and is not afraid to lose you. Let him go, if he tells you this. Find a man who cherishes you.

3. He says he never wants to get married
With this situation, it could be the timing is off, he doesn't want to settle down with you, or he has had very bad experience with marriage.

When a guy meets the woman of his dreams, he pictures a house and family. If your relationship isn't fantastic enough to convince him, then your best bet is to move on.

4. You aren't getting invited anywhere
He does not invite you to meet his friends, family, and co-workers. New Years, he is making plans with other people. He doesn't ask what you are doing over the weekend, because he doesn't care.

Too many women hold off thinking he's so busy and has an active social life. Stop making excuses - if you aren't spending time with him, move on!

He has a girlfriend/wife, but he says he loves me. Could he love me?

2010-03-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

Listen up!

1. HE is cheating on his wife/girlfriend.
2. If he he is cheating on his wife/girlfriend -- He is very likely to cheat on you.
3. You choose who you love. Make sure you find someone who has values.
4. This man does not have values.
5. You should not choose this man as your partner.

Tiger woods cheated on his girlfriend for his wife (Elin Nordegren).
Tiger woods cheated on his wife (Elin Nordegren) for another 16 women.

This situation is a like saying
"I have a hot of boiling water in a pot, if I dump on my head, will it hurt?"

Here's another:
"Whenever I walk in the snow without shoes, my feet get very cold". It's snowing outside, should I wear shoes?

And a final one:
When I speed down my local highway, I have been ticketed. Will I be ticketed if I speed this time?

You are dealing with a man who has cheated. Do you want to take the chance he will cheat on you?

Does He Love Me? Make it easy for him.

2010-03-09T19:39:00.001-08:00

Make it easy for a guy to love you.

Guys are attracted to girls who are fun, easy going and intelligent. You should have a life and your own interests. If you haven't done it yet - now's the time.

Other ways

1. Be Self Sufficient
Never rely on a man for everything. You should have your own money, your own friends, your own activities. He should not be responsible for 100% of your happiness. No one will ever fulfill all of your needs. Join a volleyball team, take up a guitar class, start learning a new language. Get really good at something, and your love interest will grow. Find yourself happy by yourself before finding love.

2. Be sweet
Be loving. Give him kisses, sweet pecks on the cheek mixed with passionate kisses. Find a great recipe book and begin cooking your heart out. A man loves a woman who can cook, especially if you will be raising his children some day. Tidy up his place.
But, at the same time, don't become his mom doing his chores. You want him to respect you, so don't become his maid.

3. Be strong and confident
Don't be a doormat. Stick up for yourself. Be able to disagree and logically reason with him. If you think he is being unfair, let him know. This relationship is for both of you to enjoy, and if you aren't happy, then you need to bring it to his attention.

4. Be interesting and funny: Change it up.
Bring up an interesting new story that might peak his interest or relate to his work. Go find some good jokes, practice them with your friends and then make him laugh!
Crack jokes and have fun. This will make your time together fun and your relationship healthy.

Wear your hair differently, change your lipstick color. Make yourself new and interesting.

"This author interviews hundreds of bachelors to find out what makes a woman marriage material in this day and age"
The 10 traits every man is looking for in a woman

Does he love me? Is your love healthy?

2010-02-23T06:40:00.000-08:00

Some people will take any kind of love. They are not selective enough and end up in abusive or emotionally painful relationships. Or they end up in relationships that are unbalanced.

Choose to be alone rather than in an unhealthy relationship
It is better for you to be alone, than in a relationship roller coaster ride. Life is more than just having a relationship.

One reason why you want to seek out a healthy and positive relationship is because negative and destructive relationships will ruin other parts of your life. Worry will cause you loss of sleep, anxiety and put you in a bad mood. Stay away from these relationships. Some women think they will "fix" the man and have pity on him. Don't! Your job is not to save someone. You may get sucked into his mess, and end up messy yourself. Instead find a great guy that will care for you and respect you.

When you are with a man who supports you and cares about you, then you don't have to wonder what he's doing or who he's flirting with. Instead, you can use your energy contrjavascript:void(0) in the world, finishing your degree or advancing at your job.

Some people were brought up in a family where consternation and fighting was the norm, but truly the best relationships are one in which each partner thrives. There is understanding, caring, reason and fun!

People who stay in unhealthy relationships, because they "love" the other person have the right to do so, however hold on for a bumpy ride. You get to choose your partner, so you should keep your eyes wide open when you see major flaws in who he is as a person.

In the end, it is your decision to stay or go. If a man lacks some serious fundamental qualities, then you are wise to leave.

He Cheated. Does he love me?

2010-02-23T06:02:00.000-08:00

No.

Run away quickly. Someone who cheats has terrible character. They are selfish and unloving and immature. They should remain single until they find someone they love and cherish. They likely had an influence (perhaps from their parents) that cheating was acceptable, but it is not.

Cheating causes pain and anguish, someone who loves you would never even think of putting you through misery.

Someone who cheats once, does not respect you and took the chance on your relationship.

Does My Man Love Me?: Do you stand up for yourself?

2010-02-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

In continuation of the previous blog:

If you find that your man starts taking you for granted: Stand up for yourself

If you feel that he is really good at taking, taking taking, but never giving, giving giving: Stand up for yourself.

Everyone in the world can easily take another for granted, without even realizing it. It is important that you look at your situation and ensure that you also are getting want you need out of the relationship.

How to stand up for yourself tips
1. Don't nag. If you are standing up for something minute or silly, DON'T.
Pick and choose your battles, because you don't want to bicker about everything.
2. State the problem
3. Try not to get emotional about it, just simply state how you feel
4. State a solution.
5. Try to be specific. For example, "I feel that we need to talk more. I'd like to talk every other day for 5 minutes".
6. Tell him it is important to you.
7. Tell him you care about him and want this relationship to work, but this is something that you believe you need.
8. Take him aside, do not embarass him in front of others.

Some examples of things you should stand up for:
1. He expects you to do his laundry, clean, and cook for him, but he's not married to you. He never wants to take you out.
2. He is disrespectful in front of your friends or family.
3. He just spilled something all over your rug, and since you are laid back, he doesn't apologize or try to make amends. He should respect your things!

Does He Love Me? Do you try too hard?

2010-02-21T14:20:00.001-08:00

Don't Try So Hard
Some women, when they have boyfriends do TOO much. Everything he asks for, she gives him. Whenever he states his opinion, she agrees. He calls, she runs to pick it up immediately. She always goes to *his* house, he never comes to hers. He asks her what she would like to do for a date, and she always replies "Whatever you want".

This, ladies is BORING! Even when you are in a settled relationship, you should still be a bit of a challenge. Unpredictable sometimes!

Even if he likes you at first, if you have nothing interesting to add to his life and you never challenge him, overtime, he may lose interest.

If you are one of these girls, I challenge you:
1. To tell your man to come to your house tonight!
2. To find a spectacular restaurant you have never experienced, and suggest it
3. To make him wait a few hours until you call him back
4. To disagree with him and logically state your opinion (without starting a fight)

Does he love you? How can you tell if a man respects you? 4 ways you can tell

2010-02-19T05:14:00.000-08:00

How can you tell if a man respects you? Read on to find out.

A man who respects you treats you well and values you. In love, respect is critical. If there is little or no respect, over time you may become rude to one another, talk down to each other and destroy your relationship.

Here are some ways a man displays his respect to you:
1. He treats you like a lady and wants to please you
A man who respects you, is polite to you. Although chivalry may be dead, and may women shy away from it, your man will open doors for you, ask you if you

2. He doesn't try to force himself upon you (e.g. sleep with you)
A man who respects you cherishes you. He isn't crass towards you, because is careful to not hurt you or turn you away. You can almost guarentee that when a man tries to get too physical too quickly , he really doesn't care much about you. This is especially true if he barely knows you.

Many women mistakenly think that if they sleep with a guy, that man will fall in love with them, when actually the opposite is true. Waiting to sleep together is a sign that you aren't sleeping with every person that comes along.

3. He asks for you opinion and listens carefully
At dinner, he wants you to order (even for him!). He trust your tastes and respects your opinions. If you have similar passions in art or design, he may ask you to examine his work and give insight.

Not only will a man he ask for your opinion, but you will notice he will focus intently on what you are saying, not interrupting. He may express any disagreements, but he does so with patience and kindness.

4. He follows your advice
Not only does a respectful man ask for your advice, but he acts on it. This is the ultimate sign of admiration. For example, let's say you mention he handsome he appears in dark green shades: take notice over the next few weeks. Does he wear the same dark green sweater in his closet when you are around? Does he purchase more dark green clothes? If he does, this is a good sign that he truly wants to please you and admires you.

Another example would be his work. If your man had an important meeting or class and he must give a presentation, he may ask you to listen and provide feedback. He gives you the presentation and asks you to critique him. Notice if he accepts and agrees with what you suggest, or just shrugs off (given of course you gave him good counsel).

Does He love me? Does he flirt with your girlfriends?

2010-02-17T17:17:00.000-08:00

Your girlfriends may be like you
I am sure you have a few girlfriends. If you do, those girlfriends probably share some of your interests, or your personality.

So, if you bring your guy around these other women, you should definitely watch how he reacts and treats them. If your man is attracted to you (because you are stunning, fun, and wonderful) then likely he could find your girlfriends likewise enjoyable to be around and he may even be physically attracted to them.

Don't become jealous
Keep your cool, because your friends should ultimately become friends with him as well.

It is important to understand that although your boyfriend may find these girls appealing, he doesn't overly shower them with attention or seem to be flirting, out of respect for you. If you find him doing this, or if he ever were to come on to one of them, then it is important that you first confront him and second be very diligent to make sure that he is true to you.

Remember that throughout your entire life, both of you will find other people attractive and appealing. A mature relationship understands this, but both people are careful to still make the other partner feel most important.

Does He Love Me? Pet names he calls you

2010-02-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

When your man addresses you, is it endearing? Does he call you by names that make you feel special?

Sweet Nicknames:
My little sweety
My honey
Baby doll
Boo Bear

Resentful names
If he is calling you by not so nice names: Hag, Nag, Witch then he is expressing to you some resentment. To him they may sound like a joke, but could be some issues under the surface that you aren't aware of. If you want a guy to fall in love and stay in love, you need to be the best woman you can be.

No Nicknames
If your man doesn't have any nicknames for you, it could be that he is still getting to know you, doesn't express himself this way, or he may not feel comfortable with you. If you want to encourage him to use these nicknames more, begin calling him by some and he should follow suit!

Here is a site with some pet names you can use:
Nicknames

Does he like or love me

2010-02-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

Does he like you or love you?

Here are some key differences between like and love:

1. Compare how he treats you to other girls. Some guys are nice to everyone and although you think he is flirting with you, he could be over friendly.
He likes you:
- If he is nice to you, but he treats everyone the same way. Watch if he gives you special treatment over others

He loves you:
-If he treats you even more special than other girls. He gives you extra attention, or when you ask for something, he is always ready and willing to help out first.

2. Check his nerves:
He likes you:
He always seems relaxed and calm. He seems at ease around you, especially if he doesn't know you that well.

He loves you:
He may become embarrassed around you, stumble over his words or seem a little off.

3. Staring: Does he stare at you extra long or when you aren't looking
He likes you: When saying hello, he glances quickly.

He loves you: He locks his eyes with yours. He holds his stare.

Love Quiz: Is he a good mate?

2010-02-16T17:06:00.000-08:00

Take this love quiz to see if you have picked a good mate.

Here is a short quiz
Question 1

Rate his personality:
A) 0 - Dull or Moody - Not fun to be around
B) 1 - Nice guy. Somewhat entertaining
C) 2 - He is funny / brilliant / interesting/ we have a lot to talk about

Question 2
Rate your attraction:
A) 0 - Ugly / no attraction
B) 1 - Somewhat attractive
C) 2 - Hot! Sexy!

Question 3
Rate the way he treats you:
A) 0 - Mean / Rude
B) 1 - Neither mean nor nice - just there
C) 2 - Makes me feel special . treats me very well

Question 4
Rate his relationship with his parents
A) 0 - Hates his parents
B) 1 - Cordial, but not close.
C) 2 - Very close and loves them deeply.

Question 5
How much fun do you have together?
A) 0 - We never have fun together
B) 1 - We usually have fun every once in a while, when we are stressed.
C) 2 - We constantly joke around and tease each other. We are always trying to have fun.

Question 6
Do you respect him?
A) 0 - Not at all. He is kind of a loser and a wimp.
B) 1 - I feel that there is more he could do to improve himself (in his work or looks)
C) 2 - You respect him tremendously. You think there is something very special about him that other men do not have. You are drawn to him, perhaps his charisma, his charm or his dedication to his passion.

Add up your score
0-4: This is poor mate. It doesn't seem you two are a good match or that you are that into him and you don't feel strongly about him. It is important to pick a guy that you love too.
4-8: He is just passing the time. He seems like a good fellow, but it is unclear if this is love or you just need someone around to fill your time. Search your heart to see if you truly care about him, or you are just lonely.
8-12: He seems like a wonderful man a solid partner. There are many great things about this man, and you should cherish your relationship. He may not be perfect, but his postive qualities outweight the negatives.

He said he cares, Does that mean he loves me?

2010-02-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

A man can easily say:
"I care about you"
"I love you"
"You mean the world to me"
"You are the one."

Many men have difficulty expressing themselves, whereas women are verbal and emotional creatures. When you hear a man tell you how wonderful you are, this feeds your inner desire to be loved and accepted. Women want to be adored and romanced, and a simple whisper in your ear, can make you fall deeply for someone.

Actions are more important than words
However, remember that words are not as important as loyalty and his treatment of you (see other posts).

Think of words as the juice on a steak (and if you are a vegetarian, then think of tofu instead).

Actions are the steak - Words are the spice
Words add taste to your relationship like sauces add succulence to your meat (tofu). Words are the spices or the hot. The steak is the meat or actions of your man. But over time, you can't jut eat sauce for a meal -- you will never fill you up! You need the protein of the meat to thrive.

In order to have a fulfilling relationship, you want both words and actions, just like in a steak (tofu) you want the protein plus the flavor.

Tips to measure his actions
-Does he call you and spend time with you?
-Is he there for you when you are sad?
-Does he work with you to resolve problems?
-Does he make you feel good about yourself?
-Is he consistent with you?

If what he DOES doesn't align to what he SAYS, then this is a sign he may not love you!

Happy Valentine's Day: Relationship Tips

2010-02-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

1. Hug for 20 seconds

Studies show that a 20 second hug raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle-hormone” and facilitates a sense of love and connection, especially in women3. Most couples don’t take the time to hug at all, much less for 20 seconds, but this simple activity is a way of bookending the day and entering the new chapter of the evening. It provides a clear transition and a foundation of feel-good hormones. Men need to be hugged three times as much as women to get to similar levels, so go for a full minute of hugging.

2.For every one negative interaction, you need 5 positives.

According to eminent marriage therapist John Gottman, (who has an entire laboratory in Seattle dedicated to studying interactions between couples), the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability to maintain a high ratio of positive to negative interactions. The ideal ratio should be 5-to-1 — five positive interactions for every negative one.

3. Surprise your guy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Is it Love? Ask Your Gut.

2010-02-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

You may call it:
-Instinct
-Intuition
-Inner voice
-Gut

Always listen to your heart when it comes to love.

How do you listen to your inner voice? Ask yourself the following questions?

Do you feel at peace with him when you are together?
Do you feel relaxed when you are away from each other?
Do you feel comfortable when you think about your relationship?
Do you feel positive and hopeful when you think about him?
Does your relationship seem natural and genuine?

When you trust your own instincts, you make great decisions.

Even science has uncovered that our minds have the ability to make the correct decisions subconsciously:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2006/02/17/thought_for_thinkers/

Does He Trust You? Love thrives with Trust.

2010-02-13T16:22:00.000-08:00

Trust is a fundamental requirement in a relationship. Not having trust is like baking bread without flour. It is core, it holds a relationship together, even when obstacles are encountered.

A guy that trusts you
-Tells you things he doesn't tell others
-Gives you the benefit of the doubt
-Lends you things (his car, money, laptop)
-Gives you freedom (doesn't demand you are always with him)
-Doesn't accuse you

Trust takes time

When you first start dating, it is imperative you find out first if the person is trustworthy. If they are not trustworthy, then you must end a relationship.

He calls every few months, does he love me?

2010-02-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

He calls every few months, does he love me?

If a guys calls every few months, this is probably a sign that he is thinking of you, but does not mean he is in love. It sounds more like a friendship -- that he's just calling to say hi, rather than a romantic interest.

If a guy wants to be with you, why would he wait that long to get in touch? A guy that cares for you *wants* to see you, *wants* to be near you and *wants* to talk to you on a regular basis.

Other reasons why he could rarely call:
1. He's incredibly busy
2. When he gets lonely, he knows you will pick up
3. He is still dating other women, and calls to check in to see if there's still a possibility
4. He lives very far away, so the chances of having a relationship are slim, so what's the point?
5. He calls when he has a problem, and you are someone that will listen

What does He Say
When he calls you, what does he say? Does he just talk about himself? Does he ask to see you? Does he give you other signs?

Ask him directly
We recommend coming out and asking him directly why he rarely calls! When he calls you, do you get your hopes up that there's a chance? If it feels unhealthy to you or you feel he gives you false hope, perhaps you shouldn't answer the phone anymore.

Another article on a guy who rarely calls:

Does My Man Love Me? How does he treat you in front of others?

2010-02-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

One way to see how much a man cares for you is to watch how he treats you in front of other people. If he values you, he will be sure that in front of strangers, friends, family, or colleagues you are well liked and known.

At a Restaurant
Watch what he does when you are at a restaurant. Is he flirting with the waitress, and talking about how great he is to win her respect?

At a Party
Does he stand by your side when you are together at a party? Does he introduce you to people and speak highly of you? If you feel good when you are around him and other people, this is a very good sign that he does indeed care about you.

If a guy could really care less about your feelings, he could care less who you meet. You may just be there to keep him company and sit next to him at the table, so that he doesn't appear alone.

A guy that cares for you will show you off to his friends and family. He will be proud of you and say wonderful things about you to other people.

Does my guy love me? Does he want to protect you?

2010-02-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

You and your man are walking down a dark street. It is 1 am at night in the city, not many people are around. You and your man are strolling side by side, when suddenly a dangerous fellow appears mumbling to himself while walking directly toward the both of you. You are on the left side (nearest to the stranger) and your man is on the right.

Now, ladies, what does your man do?

1. Scream, then RUN in the other direction leaving you there
2. Pull you away from the stranger, putting himself directly in danger
3. He continues to walk to the right, behind a thick post (leaving you there) , so not to look too fearful, but still able to protect himself

Believe it or not, I have been on date with a man in a situation like this (a very long time ago). The man chose option #3. That was our last date together, although he didn't even realize what he had done! He called a few times, until he finally got the hint!

Here's another example:
Let's say you are at the beach. It is dark and deserted. You think you are alone, when suddenly you begin hearing voices very close to you. Suddenly a group of unruly strangers appear -- Fearing they might be dangerous. What does your man do?

1. He isn't really worried -- it probably isn't anything anyways
2. He grabs your hand and runs like hell
3. He gives you the keys to his car (which isn't parked too far) and tells you to run to the back to the car, so you are safe.
4. He panics, quickly turns around to leave, completely forgetting that you are there.

Of course you know you want your man to protect you and not run like a little baby! This is a sign that your life is worth more than his and it is a sign of strength and courage.

Find a protective man, and keep him!

Does He Love you: Does he respect your opinion?

2010-02-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

Respect and love go hand in hand. If a man respects you, he will treat you well. One way to tell if he (or anyone) respect you, is they will tell you about certain problems they are having, and ask for your opinion.

One day he may be having a conflict with his boss. Let's say he is facing ethical dilemmas at work and isn't sure what to do. If he shares this with you, consider this a high honor. Many guys will often try to deal with difficult situations on their own, because they interpret this as being weak. But a man who truly thinks you are wise will greatly appreciate spilling his situation to you, to get a females perspective.

Respecting your opinion doesn't just have to be with work problems. It can also be advise on what to buy his mother, what to wear to your friend's birthday party. If a man asks your opinion-- he cares about what you think of him.

Does He love you: Does he tolerate your bad habits?

2010-02-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Stop for a minute and think about your annoying habits or negative characteristics. Keep thinking, we know you have a few! Do you borrows his clothes, interrupts his phone calls, complain too much about work? Perhaps you freak out regularly over family problems and you end up crying on his shoulder every month.

There will be those things that your man does not like about you. Even if he loves you to great depths, there will still be a few things about you that he could do without. Despite the fact there he may dislike, he will grin and bare it for you! He may ask you to stop, but he will tolerate even your bad habits if he cares about you deeply.

The man may direct you towards "better options": maybe how you should be a little cleaner, or you might be able to clean your hair out of the shower regularly, but a guy would not break up with you over something silly like this!

Love is tolerance of each other -- even the bad!

Does He Love Me? Find a man who..

2010-02-05T20:06:00.000-08:00

1. Find a man who calls you "beautiful" instead of "hot" or "fine".
"Hot" and "Fine" are terms indicating completely lust. He is defining you by your looks.

2. Find a man who will listen and comfort when you cry.
This man will be strong when you are weak. He is solid and firm when you feel the world is crumbling around you. You too need to be strong when he struggles through obstacles.

3. Find a man who is respectful to others
You can tell a lot from a man by the way he treats other people. Especially waiters, waitresses, his own mother and father. Also pay close attention to how he treats his own siblings.

4. Find a man who will reason with you
There will be tough times in your relationship. Maybe he has to work very late for several nights in a row. Perhaps you are under a lot of pressure at work and feel stressed when you see him. Whatever the case, it is always important that your man is reasonable. He is able to understand the situation, listen to your pain and tell you what is acceptable and unacceptable.

Does He Love Me?

He loves you when he's tender towards you

Signs you are meant to be together

What does Love Look Like? Healthy Couples in Hollywood

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

Stupid things you do that makes him not love you

10 WAYS THAT WOMEN MESS UP THEIR LIVES"

Is it love? How he makes you feel about yourself...

He's Too Busy??!!

He loves you when he's on the path to improvement

5 signs you were meant to be together

Crazy Women that Can't Get Their Relationships To Work

What's Your Problem? Examine Your own Issues.

Major doubts before walking down the aisle?

Your complaints crumble the relationship (nagging destroys)

Your complaints crumble the relationship (nagging destroys)

You are only his "Lady Friend"

Relationships Are Like Jobs ( Sometimes)

First, Know what Real Love is

Not so bad traits - Tis better to have a solid, reputable man

Engagement Ultimatums

The Not so Incredibly Changing Man

5 Signs he is not in love (BIG RED FLAGS!!!)

Deciphering his Love Language

Your flaws

Question Him

When life falls apart

You made him cry

He loves you when he plans trips with you

He tells me: He doesn't know if he wants a future with me

Your Birthday

Why he would fall for you...

Does He Love Me if he is very critical?

Just Because He Does This, Does Not Mean He Loves You

He Loves You when he references your future children

Does He Love You? Looking good for him until you are 100.

To Find Love You Need Humility

Does He Love you? Is he that kind of man ....

Does He Love You? He surprises You with things you love

Does He Love You? He surprises You with things you love

Molding Your Man

On Again Off Again .

The Love Test: Results

The Love Test: Take a backseat and see what happens.

Always Breaking Up?

Why men fall in love

Intense Feelings and Signs of Deep Love

He said you mean the world to me

Does He Love you? He fell in love *really* fast

Marriage and Math: Will It Last?

Does He Love Me if he is constantly busy?

Does He Love You -- Relationship Snags

When a man says he cares for you but is not in love with you.

Does He Love You? What does he do when he's out of town?

Check Facebook for Signs of His Love

Signs It is Time for a Break Up

Signs He Cares

Are you in Love with a Loser?

Lyrics - When a man loves a woman

Things you do that cause him NOT to fall in love.

Does He Love You? Compare your relationship to healthy ones

Secret Signs He Loves You

Does He Love you for the wrong reasons?

Does He Love Me? - A guys perspective

Does He Love Me? 5 Signs he wants to get serious

Does He Love Me: Not now, Maybe Later?

Does He Love Me if he is never jealous?

Why do i feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me?

Can you pass his tests?

My boyfriend does nothing to show love or care. Does he love me?

Does my boyfriend love me if he's mean to me?

Does He love his (fill in the blank mom, the kids, the dog, his job) more than me?

We fight. Does he love me? Fighting and LOVE

What does it mean when he says he cherishes me?

Do you love each other? Signs of a healthy relationship

Does He love You? Since he met you --He's Becoming a Better Man.

He never says he loves me

Does He Love you? He fell in love really fast